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Because I cannot expunge the memory of meandering, mind-wiping boredom and flabbergastation that is the new Thomas Jane flick The Mutant Chronicles, I am lodging a formal but nonlegal complaint. I submit to you, honorable pop culture judges, the case for why The Mutant Chronicles — a feature film starring Thomas "Punisher" Jane and Ron "Hellboy" Perlman now out on DVD in Europe — is quite possibly the worst movie ever made, and therefore should be subject to an injunction preventing it from being watched by anyone, for any reason. I believe that this blog is the proper jurisdiction for this case to be tried, and therefore it is with both gravity and care that I submit to you my argument, along with video evidence. More »
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