No wonder Mark Hamill is clutching his head in this clip from 1993's Time Runner, the low point of his post-Star Wars career. Hamill has traveled back in time 30 years to stop an alien invasion, only to crash head-first into every horrendous sci-fi cliche ever, in the space of about two minutes.



First the future world leader turns out to be an alien stooge. Who would ever have suspected? It's not like Senator Neima starts doing the evil jazz hands and saying "tell me about how I will become World President" or anything. Also an alien? Hamill's girlfriend, Rae Dawn Chong (from Soul Man and Quest for Fire). Her Spock hair and robo-acting could have been a giveaway. And then just when everything seems like it's reached its low point, Hamill gets a blast of "future vision," and sees his own pregnant mom, who's due to give birth to him today. But not if the bad guys get to her first.

Actually, the way it's staged, it seems as though Hamill's mom-danger-gram is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The bad guys don't think about trying to cap his zygote until they see the image in his time tunnel. (When he has one of his future-visions, everybody else sees it too.) And just in case they didn't get it, he tips them off by shout-whispering, "Mother!". It's like he's aiming to be the world's crappiest time traveler.