What better way to say "Happy Holidays" than a spaceship coated with gore and corpses? This X-mas tree ornament of the spaceship Serenity "in disguise" as a gore-tastic Reaver ship is probably the worst of the weird pieces of swag you can buy this season in honor of Joss Whedon's space western Firefly. If you've been holding onto your hard-earned dollars and hoping for some cool Firefly merchandise to come out, keep it in your pants unless you're a really big fan of lame lunchboxes and macabre Christmas ornaments. Check out the lunchboxes after the jump.
- Luckily, there is one cool lunchbox option: the Fruity Oaty Bar box, which makes reference to the strange food items being advertised on TV in Serenity when River gets a subliminal message, goes apeshit, and slaughters an entire bar full of ruffians.
- Dark Horse Comics is also releasing a Serenity lunchbox, but it ain't pretty. Simply slap a picture of the ship on one side and put the name of it on the other in all caps, and bingo, you've got your own. All of the cool artwork and images from this series and we get this? Your lunch would rather be caught inside a My Pretty Pony lunchbox.
- Of course, there's also the option of getting something that has nothing to do with the show whatsoever, like a Serenity Zippo lighter! It's like they just opened a Cafe Press store and put the logo on anything they could think of. Where are the damn Firefly pint glasses and thongs already? This might fly if anyone on the show actually smoked or used a lighter, but don't expect it to raise your street cred.
- There's also the Christmas ornament replica of the little shuttle that Inara flew around in. If you haven't seen the show, she's a "Companion," or basically an extremely high-class whore. So when you gather the family around for the holidays, be sure to point out the ship that brings your mail-order space slut flying down the chimney.
We're waiting on the Alien Chest-Bursting ornament that plays "Jingle Bells" when Kane's chest pops open.
Dark Horse Grants You Serenity [Comic Book Resources]