io9 Asks A Ninja About Beowulf and Global WarmingS

The Ninja from AskANinja.com slipped steathily into the shadowy corners of Los Angeles for a live show, and io9 pinned him down for a few questions. Check out the Q&A that cost us an arm and a leg (literally), and find out about the Ninja's secret movie plans, after the jump.



In a fight between a Jedi and yourself, who would win?

Easily, it's always going to be the ninja! It was a bad idea for Lucas to go with the samurai model. Samurais were basically like the fashion models of ancient Japan. The ninjas actually had the skills. Plus Jedis are fictional. Ninjas are real.

Well that trumps our lightsaber question, then.

No, lightsabers are actual real things! We actually wield lightsabers, but we don't just stop there. We got lots of things made out of light, light-shurikens, light-chuks... which are not just lightweight, but they're also just made of light. You do have to be pretty careful when you hold those.

Okay, Ninja vs. Beowulf?

You know, I think Beowulf is kind of like the Chuck Norris of the ancient world, so he's an ally of the ninja. He's old English and old school, give Beowulf his props.

There's a film called I Am Legend coming out where Will Smith is the last man on earth. How would it be if the Ninja was the last man on earth?

You know, I liked it better when it was called Omega Man. Doesn't it seem like it's awfully familiar? You know, the ninja is very kill-sufficient minded, he doesn't just go killing willy-nilly, I don't think the ninja would let it happen. But the Ninja did kill Chilly Willy. He doesn't like penguins. He was a penguinja, actually.

What's more threatening to ninjakind, global warming or oppressive government regimes?

You know, it's more going to be the government regimes, because stupidity is what's behind that. The ninjas are actually stopping global warming by 23% through sheer intimidation alone. We're going and just staring at polar ice caps and daring them to melt.

If you're going to kick back on a Sunday afternoon and watch something science fiction related, what would it be?

Well, a better question is about what I'm doing that's scifi related. I'm actually getting all of the Orson Scott Card books made into movies, secretly, and I'm going to release them all at once as a 72 hour movie. The whole Ender's series, and the Shadow/Bean series.

Will there be ninjas in it at all?

Maybe! I mean who else could pull off all of those stunts?

So can you guarantee that everyone at this live show will have a good time tonight?

Absolutely! If you complain you'll get killed. Anyone that enjoys the show will make it home safely. Maybe.