Science fiction doesn't just give us the best machines; it also gives the best sex as well. After all, if the future is full of anti-gravity lifts and teleportation, just think how far the porno industry will evolve. Scifi isn't just about human sex either: you can get it on with aliens, clones, and even machines. Star Trek's Data was a "fully functional" android, and gave some robo-lovin' to the frigid Tasha Yar (and the Borg queen!) from time to time. After the jump, our list of the best science fiction sex scenes to get you through hump day.
- Barbarella: This movie was all about sex, from the opening credits where Jane Fonda strips down in zero gravity, to her encounter with Dr. Durand Durand's sex organ called "The Excessive Machine." Which is basically a piano that plays with your genitalia. It's supposed to kill her, but of course Barbarella breaks it, oh my. She also has super-sci fi sex in pill form, which manages to curl her hair a bit. There's even a character named Dildano, in case you had any doubts about all the sex.
- Demolition Man: This movie has a scene where Sylvester Stallone gets it on with Sandra Bullock's character through some high-tech sex helmets. You put them on and "think" about sex, so no bodily fluids are exchanged. That way you can do the nasty and stay "pure." Thankfully, it saves us from seeing them writhing around in bed together. A sad Stallone retires to his apartment to knit (no joke), but he gets a wrong number video phone call, so you can still see some boobies. He probably wrote that scene in himself.
- Liquid Sky: In this 1982 cult-classic, fashion model Margaret has a troupe of tiny aliens following her around and sucking up the endorphins released by the people she has sex with, because that's where they get their fuel from. Must make finding a service station a bit rough. She has trouble hiding the ever-growing body count until the aliens help her out and start vaporizing them for her. Where else could you get a line like, "I bet you $300 I can fuck Margaret and not die!" spoken by a woman?
- Battlestar Galactica: There's a lot of sex going on in this show, because apparently Cylons are equipped with a horny circuit that's been switched into overdrive. Except for that short, balding guy. We've never seen him try to do the deed. Plus, Cylon's spines glow red during sex, which you think would make detecting them a bit easier than the iffy blood-test solution that Baltar comes up with. Plus, Starbuck gets strapped down and has an ovary removed in a Cylon reproduction farm, which means they're just having sex for the fun of it.
- Moonraker: James Bond ventures into outer space, has slow-motion fights with laser beams and while wearing a spacesuit, manages to turn Jaws into a good guy, and also gets down with some zero gravity action with Dr. Holly Goodhead. The film's effects are pretty laughable at this point (the space shuttle has LASER BEAMS, for god's sake), but that sex scene made it all worth it when you were ten years old. Plus Q gets off a good one-liner at the end when the Prime Minister video calls Bond to congratulate him and they sex him and Dr. Goodhead floating naked under some silvery space sheets. M says, "What's he doing?!" And Q, staring at a flight path quips "I think he's attempting re-entry!" Zing.
- Species: Scientists get a message from the stars in this film, and it sounds suspiciously like spam. "Free unlimited fuel now! Ask me how!" They follow the instructions, which involve splicing human DNA with alien DNA, and it gives birth to... Natasha Henstridge. She escapes into the wild with her supermodel good looks, and the fact that she changed her haircut. What a disguise. Even one of the scientists assigned to track her down doesn't recognize her, and they have sex. She's like Clark Kent with that damn hair. Anyhow, she's hot, struts around naked, and doesn't hesitate to kill people who get in her way.
- Demon Seed: This 1977 film featured a sentient computer named Proteus that also controlled every aspect of the house that his creator's wife lived in. As he begins to go HAL-style crazy, he tells the good doctor's wife that he just wants to have a child, and she agrees! There's some cyborg/robo sex going on, which has to be seen to be believed, including the robot's line "If you prick me, do I not leak?" If your house starts pleasing you sexually, it's either time to move, or to re-appraise your property.
- Sleeper: In this Woody Allen film, Allen mistakenly gets put into cryogenic freeze and wakes up 200 years in the future, where all men have been rendered impotent, except those of Italian descent. Orgasmatron booths are popular destinations, where instead of making a phone call you get off, and "intoxication orbs" are passed around at parties, which appear to make the holder experience sexual bliss. Sounds like a decent future to me, thank god my great-grandmother was Italian.
There's also a slew of scifi sex spoofs out there, including Flesh Gordon, Sex Trek, The Uranus Experiment, 2069: A Sex Odyssey , and more. It might take us awhile to invent faster than light travel and time machines, but thankfully we've mastered perversion.