What do you get when you combine a sentient, artificially intelligent subway train (starring Emma Clarke, the voice of the London Underground and Keanu Reeves) with Speed and Titanic? It turns out you get "Sentient Subway," a hilarious Hollywood movie pitch that needs a bit of work on its title. However, having heard this whole pitch, I'm going to go out on a limb and say... it ain't half bad. We'd take a ride on it. In fact, we're all for sentient every mode of transportation: bicycles, cars, roller skates, scooters. Just not buses. Those things are filthy.
Your Subway Car Wants Kill You
2:40 PM on Wed Jan 2 2008
By Kevin Kelly
661 views
14 comments









Comments
Kevin, no offense, but something's going on with your time stamps. Your posts are showing up halfway down the page. The sad thing is, Emma needs the work, cause the Tube canned her because she was misquoted in a paper.
@aspiringexpatriate: I think that's just some launch day shenanigans going on while we shuffle things behind the scenes, but thanks for pointing it out, I'm going to look into it.
I heard that about Emma, and it seems a bit lame to lay off the voice of the Underground for something so trivial. I'd love to have her do daily announcements on io9, "Mind the Nanobots" and so forth.
"Please, do not panic as the sun explodes, it is merely a supernova, and will only kill us all."
The absurdity is that she said she'd hate to go on the tube because it'd be dreadful to hear her voice, but the paper quoted her as saying that she thought the tube was dreadful.
@aspiringexpatriate: Although I thought she was let go for making weird remarks about Americans and other peeps on the Tube PA system. Anyhow, we say the UK folks should rally and bring her back.
@shazammy and aspiringexpatriate, and on the heels of some spoof announcements that they weren't so thrilled about either. (But I don't believe they were about any particular group of people.)
@shazammy: that's really asking too much. no human being on earth can resist the temptation to abuse power of an omniscient PA system
I think I preferred it when my subway conductor and fellow subway riders were the only ones who wanted to kill me.
How about the bomb that becomes self aware in "Dark Star"?
Imagine dealing with that!
Oh yeah, someone commissioned her to make spoof tube bits, but they weren't over the tube PA. They were just for an end of year joke. Wait, were these the ones that got her fired?
That sounds like the Blaine The Mono sequence in Stephen Kings Dark Tower series.
@ElijahDProphet: Blaine is a Pain.
@shazammy: That's the truth.
@strider_mt2k: Perhaps someone should reprogram the intercom on the shiny NYC subways (2/3/4/5/6/N) to sound - and behave - like GLaDOS.
@omg-ponies: Thanks to you I've gotten a quick Portal education via Wikipedia and I can't get that song "Still Alive" out of my head.
Cool looking game.
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