Warning: You May Hate Hayden Christensen In Jumper

The first reviews of Jumper are starting to pop up online, and they're not good news for the people who thought Hayden Christensen might be likable (or even tolerable) this time around. The movie features a lot of scenes of people jumping off tall buildings and cliffs, and may leave you wanting to do the same. But fear not: We also have exciting Dragonball info, a new Hulk-related toy spoiler, a Sarah Connor preview, and info on Smallville and X-Factor.

A super detailed early review of Jumper has gone up online: Hayden Christensen's character is a "douchebag," who uses his powers selfishly and avoids helping people. And he never has any redemption or becomes someone you'd want to ride an elevator with. He drags Rachel Bilson around Rome on her "dream vacation," ruins her trip for her and then bundles her on a plane home.

Then we meet Samuel L. Jackson's Paladin character, who's sworn to hunt down and kill "Jumpers" who can teleport, like Christensen. Apparently the main reason we're told for the Paladins' anti-Jumper campaign is because they think only God should be omnipresent.

And we meet another teleporting "Jumper" named Griffin (Jamie Bell) who refuses to help Christensen, for reasons that make no sense whatsoever. We're supposed to side with Hayden C. over Griffin, even though Hayden's character is Asswipe City. And the film has a distinct lack of action, apart from a few set pieces that you've already seen in the trailers. Hayden and Jamie Bell have a world-traveling showdown for some reason, chasing each other and falling off high places. Oh, and there's a cool bit with a flamethrower, but then nothing much gets lit on fire. [AintItCool]

More spoilers:

  • OMG there's a big fighting tournament in the Dragonball movie! And Master Roshi, Goku and Piccolo win. There's a fight between Chichi (in a red dress) and Mai (in black leather) and Mai gives up. Goku shouts "Well done" to the victorious Chichi, but Mai grins at a knife she's hiding. [Dragonball The Movie]
  • Warning: You May Hate Hayden Christensen In JumperYet another super tenuous toy spoiler: New images have come out of the "wacky wobblers" tying in with the Incredible Hulk and Iron Man movies. Since we don't really have any good images of the new Hulk, this could be considered significant. Barely. [Marvelous News, via Superhero Flix]
  • On Smallville, Green Arrow is going to be taking a more laid-back attitude to Clark than he did at first — partly because he senses so many other people are putting pressure on the future Superman. Also, the Smallville producers have a (possibly half-assed) plan to explain how Clark disguises his identity when so many people know him without glasses. The show's end will "feed into the Superman legend." [Comic Book Resources]
  • Someone got an advance copy of X-Factor #28, which doesn't come out until next week according to Marvel's site. Siryn is pregnant and Rahne is leaving the team (to join X-Force) despite Madrox's guilt trips. Layla's still gone, but Rahne mysteriously insists she'll be back. And then a sex worker who looks like Layla (but isn't) turns up, and there's a fight with the Purifiers. [Diva Sparkles Activate!]
  • And here's a preview of next Monday's Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.