io9
The two smartest cars in the universe get chained up and whipped, until they escape using their super lasers, in this scene from Power Rangers In Space. With Knight Rider zooming back onto our screens this weekend, everybody's acting as though KITT invented the super-smart car. But cars with a mind of their own have a long and awesome history in science fiction. Click through for our roundup of sentient cars that aren't called KITT or Bumblebee.
The two smartest cars in the universe get chained up and whipped, until they escape using their super lasers, in this scene from Power Rangers In Space. With Knight Rider zooming back onto our screens this weekend, everybody's acting as though KITT invented the super-smart car. But cars with a mind of their own have a long and awesome history in science fiction. Click through for our roundup of sentient cars that aren't called KITT or Bumblebee.Storm Blaster and Lightning Cruiser from Power Rangers In Space. These are the two smartest and fastest cars in the universe. Storm Blaster is the Jeep, Lightning Cruiser is the sports car. They were lost inside an asteroid for thousands of years, but then the villain Divatox (best name ever!) found them and tried to control them. Instead, they decided to team up with the Power Rangers. In the clip above, Divatox's minions have the two cars chained up and are whipping them. (No, really.) But the cars bust loose, and Storm Blaster flies off into space. Wheee!
Ultra Car is the super smart (and arrogant) SUV which the alien-fighting organization SEMY created to battle the Martian invaders in It's Walky, the webcomic by David Willis. Walky has the ability to fly into space, and because he's made without using any Martian parts, the Martians can't detect him. But he has a bit of a chip on his chassis about being people's "property" when he's so much smarter than they are. Here he is motoring into space:
Speed Buggy was Hanna-Barbera's attempt at revamping Scooby Doo, except instead of a talking dog, it was a talking car. Every episode, Speed Buggy and his gang of meddling kids would get involved in another mystery. They also battled spaceships, giant robots, giant monsters and super-tanks with freeze rays. Unfortunately, Speed Buggy sounds sort of like a dirty old man, crossed with that voice Jon Stewart does whenever a joke has fallen flat. The opening credits show the gang creating Speed Buggy in some kind of workshop:
"The Devil Car" by Roger Zelazny. Cars have gained the ability to think for themselves. But some evil cars kill their drivers using carbon monoxide, so they can drive around the canyons of the West, kill pedestrians for sport, and steal fuel wherever they can. Our hero, Murdock, takes his sentient car Jenny to hunt down the meanest of these bastards on four wheels: the Black Caddy, who leads a pack of smart cars gone bad. The Black Caddy keeps a dead human in his driver's seat to fool people.
Jenny is torn between obeying her human driver and joining up with the strong, independent Black Caddy. In the end, the Caddy and Jenny wind up in a duel to death, using guns and armor and plain old car-on-car action. This story was broadcast as an episode of Mind Webs, an audio science fiction anthology broadcast on WHA Radio in Wisconsin. If you beg the webmaster of that site, you might get to hear an mp3 of it in the site's "Listening Booth."
Cars. Is it ever explained in this Pixar movie what happened to all the people? Why are the cars suddenly able to think for themselves? Could this be the world after the Black Caddy finally succeeded in wiping out all humans and creating a carefree car paradise? More importantly, what if you were transported to the Cars universe and felt sexually frustrated? Would you eventually give in and have sex with one of the cars? Here's somebody who's given this question a lot of thought.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Dick Van Dyke is a super-genius inventor who buys a broken-down old car that's about to be destroyed, and he upgrades it to the point where it can drive itself and fly. Unfortunately, the guy who played Goldfinger wants it for himself.
The Gadgetmobile. In the live-action movie version of Inspector Gadget, the Gadgetmobile is suddenly all smart, not to mention smart-assed. With the voice of stand-up comedian D.L. Hughley, the Gadgetmobile comes out with sassy one-liners. At one point, Inspector Gadget tells the car to alert him if it sees anything unusual at a science fiction convention. The car replies, "You mean like a Trekkie with a girlfriend?" Ugh.
Comments
While it was a motorcycle, who can forget Heat Vision from Heat Vision and Jack?:
[www.youtube.com]
What about my Mother the Car? I think that was the first sentient one.
What's wrong with Bunblebee? Even the old school VW bug version could kick Kitt's ass. The new version was a Mustang who lost his legs in a fire fight with Megatron and survived! Kitt can, what, drive up a moving ramp into the back of a tractor trailer? Whatever.
Ahem. Christine.
Herbie?
@beercheck: Wasn't Christine demonically possessed?
What was the name of that car that was in the old Ghostbusters cartoon? Not the real Ghostbusters, one, the other one.
@Charlie Jane Anders: I guess. But does that disqualify it from having a mind of its own? How about the Goblin truck and his friends in Maximum Overdrive? Pure evil, but diabolical and definitely sentient. Maybe all those are too far on the fantasy side vs. sci-fi?
@beercheck: Maximum Overdrive! Little did Yeardley know in 1986 know what was in store for her...
What about Nick Fury's flying car. Sure it wasn't sentient, but Hella fast! And hey...there's your Night Rider connection right there. Didn't the Hoff play Nick in a made for TV movie a few years ago.
I thought Maximum Overdrive suggested that...a comet? Or a Russian satellite? I forget which. Anyway, there was some kind of sci-fi explanation for Coke machines firing cans like grenades and evil goblin semi-trucks. That movie is very high on my "guilty pleasure" list.
@Charlie Jane Anders: Also, the car in Car.
Wheels and Roadie from the Pole Position cartoon?
/crickets chirping
@braak: it was Ghost Buggy, and I hate hate *hate* myself for knowing that without googling.
what about Trucks? the movie wasn't that SCIFI but at least the town was named Luna... [www.fearscene.com]
@Charlie Jane Anders: You say that like it's a bad thing...
@TheTooth: It's an awesome thing... but it's outside our jurisdiction. Gawker's demonic possession blog would kick our ass if we stepped on their toes. And they have special satanic powers on their side!
Gay Deceiver from Robert Heinlein's Number of the Beast.
Who can forget Turbo Teen?
The Hanna-Barbara cartoon about a teenage guy who turned into an early 80's Pontiac Firebird whenever he ate spicy food or got hot?
I kid you not.
No wonder his girlfriend would always hang out with his best friend.
Think about it... your making out on the couch, and suddenly you're crushed by post-malaise Trans Am.
The motorcycle from Warrior of the Lost World? Anyone?
Very Bad Mothers
Very Bad Mothers
Very Bad Mothers
Asimov published "Sally" in 1953, a short story about sentient cars. First?
@zerofritz: I was totally expecting to see them on this list too :(
What about turbo teen? I don't know the back story (if there even is one) but couldn't he be viewed as some sort of breakthrough in biomechanical engineering?
@zerofritz:
Oh thankt god. I still vaugley remeber the theme music.
So glad I'm not the only one.
@zerofritz: I was thinking of Pole Position, too, so no worries, yo. What the fuck was up with the little monkey things, though?
@Gyrus: Um.
The new Bumblebee was a Camaro, man. Not--I repeat--not a Mustang.
You would do well to avoid confusing these two again, if you value your manhood. Now, off to Lenscrafters with you and get that prescription checked out.
Pshaw. You mention HB's Speed Buggy, but not the Kroft's Wonderbug? There is no justice.
@Yurikaze: Ah Turbo Teen. Those were the days!
Hell, MY car is smarter than KITT because it knows better than to hang out with David Hasselhoff.
the car from Knight Rider 2010 was pretty smart. For a Mustang.
What about the motorcycles from that Galactica spinoff - something like Galactica 1980? Really abominable show.
Speaking of abominable, what about the opening scene on one of the NextGen movies where they're driving a sandrail. Boy, did that suck.
In the awesome department, you can't beat the Batmobile. The original from the 60s, though the one from Batman Begins was also pretty cool. "Reactors to power, turbines to speed", and camp cranked to maximum, baby!
"Chight Rief, er, right Chief"
Anybody remember Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch?
And don't forget my favorite, Carnivor! A werewolf who travels the back roads of America in talking car, fighting crime!
[www.tvscifi.com]
Y'know, Bumblebee isn't the only awesome transforming car.
[www.youtube.com]
Is there some reason that the "Cars" style VW pic is a mirror image?
Science-Fiction, people....
How did you forget the Gay Deceiver, from Robert Heinlein's "The Number fo the Beast"? Smartest car in the galaxy.
Read a book!
@capedcrusader: I was just about to post that! Great minds think alike.
This will give away my age, but I used to have a Speed Buggy lunchbox when I was in 1st grade.
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