The Red Skull sounds like Tweety Bird with a fakey Italian accent in this awesome clip from the original live-action Captain America movie. All the Skull wants is some English lessons, but instead Captain America kicks his ass, only to wind up strapped to a silly-looking Nazi rocket. The scene ends with the obligatory villain self-amputation, one of my favorite action-movie cliches. With Marvel working on a new Captain America film, this is the perfect time to celebrate the little-known original, with another clip after the jump.

Albert Pyun, also known as "king of the hacks," made Captain America around 1990-1991, but the film's financing fell through halfway through production. It wound up going direct to cable and home video. Pyun is best known for the Van Damme vehicle Cyborg, as well as the Andrew Dice Clay movie Brainsmasher: A Love Story. Who doesn't love a brainsmasher?

Captain America has that classic B-movie thing of being alternating between lightning-fast movement and snails-pace navel-gazing. It zips through World War II in the first 20 minutes, including the experiment that turns Steve Rogers into the Captain. And then we have a hilarious montage of the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s with newspaper headlines, followed by explorers discovering Steve frozen in an iceberg. Then the movie slows to a crawl, with about an hour of Captain America adjusting to our modern era and hanging out. Meanwhile, the Red Skull has gotten a little less red, and kidnapped the President of the United States, with plans to implant a mind-control device into him. Which leads to this scene, which actually is pretty awesome:

Anyway, this is just the latest in our series of movies Marvel Comics would not want you to see.