wait, WHAT?

I thought he was just going to be a drunken superhero, that's way more complex than it should be. All it would've needed was an amazing Blofeld-type bad guy for drunken superman to fight and it would have been perfect.

Hm.

I have to admit, I thought Hancock sounded kind of dumb from the outset.

But now? Now I think it sounds really dumb.

Oh no. Can't we just rely on Jason Bateman's charm to fix everything? It can extend to Superhero Movie. And so much more.

suddenly the original title, Tonight, He Comes makes a lot more sense.

actually, it doesn't. but it would be a lot funnier.

huh? my eyes crossed just reading that.

I like it.. That's not your average B movie plot.. Can't wait.. But then i liked "My Super Ex Girlfriend" too. But that was pretty dumb. This could be really strange.

And he ejaculates through sheet metal? Cool. Larry Niven did a riff on that years ago in a short story that was hilarious. About the down side of being Superman.

Seems Smallville was full of little tiny holes from speed of light sperm.

Wow. I thought Hancock just sounded boring before. Now it sounds terrible. I guess it's good that it has a plot. I saw the preview for Superhero Movie last night (I hadn't heard of it until then) I wanted to weep.

@codydog: Really? You don't think it sounds like this exchange happened:

Writer: Yeah, I want to make a movie about a superhero that's kind of a drunk jerk, but wants to rehabilitate his image, then sleeps with his press agent's wife.

Producer 1: Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket! Only, what if we was also a god? Oh, and what if she was a god, too? That creates dramatic tension, right, because they're made for each other!

Producer 2: Well, why doesn't he know he's a god?

Producer 1: Maybe he has amnesia, from when he got mugged. And see! He can be afraid of muggers!

Writer: Uh, guys?

Producer 2: Yes! More dramatic tension! But why doesn't the wife know she's a superhero? Oh, maybe their powers don't work when they're near each other!

Writer: Hey, guys!

Producer 1: Awesome! And then they can have a climactic fight--

Writer: But there isn't--

Producer 1: --and they have to like, get near each other, but not too near each other, otherwise they'll lose their powers!

Producer 2: Brilliant. Put Will Smith and Jason Bateman in it. We can expect 116% returns.

Writer: But...

The producers have gone to sleep.

@braak: So what?.. this is Hollywood. One whole level of back story is amazingly subtle.. Two is unheard of. I just watched "10,000 BC" and "Doomsday" back to back.. One of them our beloved editor liked and one she hated. I was 100% in disagreement, but who cares? I'm a big kid, i can make up my mind, without consulting the herd or the herd leader.

Movie reviews are one art form, a cheap one person artform, and movies are an expensive multi-person artform.

You could buy a lot of movie reviews for the price of one movie.

This Hancock looks like fun, to me, and i could waste my time in speculation or haten.

I do art in five or six media, and don't really base my likes and dislikes on other people's opinions. My bias is toward the artist, not the critic, and try to take each project as it comes, without prejudice, unless Tom Cruise is involved.

And i have to buy my keyboards retail, so i cant puke on too many of them a week.

In another Universe, Rita MRF and Michael Bluth got married? Please please let their son be played by Michael Cera.

Aside from the Arrested Development tie in, I could care less about Hangcock.

Who writes these scripts? And what the hell is wrong with them?

I was going to use sarcasm and say that clip is hilarious... but it just seems so wrong.

Methinks the Fresh Prince has peaked.

Can't wait to miss him in "Battlefield Earth II".

That clips is enough to A) lower my opinion of Pamela Anderson even more (if that's even possible) and B) decide that this genre of spoof movie has now played itself completely out.

@braak: that's probably exactly how the exchange transpired but fortunatly the fact that something is contrived and/or popular doesn't necessarily mean it will also suck. i'm not expecting hancock to actually challenge or inspire but there's a chance it will be entertaining and occasionally that's all a movie needs to be. that said i was a lot more willing to give the venture the benifit of a doubt before someone said 'amnesia.'

That has "written by committee" written all over it. I have to admit, though, the scene where he chucks the whale back out in the ocean was quite funny.

Some writers should have stayed struck.

@tetracycloide: A person could critique themselves out of liking anything. I have plenty of intellectual stimulus thinking up my own crazy stuff without demanding movies hold to some aesthetic that only i and my friends appreciate. But if that cranks your tractor, fine.

Otherwise you wind up watching a few "classics" over and over until they imprint into your brain forever. Then you have fanboy disease.

Frankly, i personally don't see enough in any movie to watch it more than once or twice a decade. Content density in any visual medium is pretty low.

And i do not love watching movies at home, i always want to click through and check my blogs.

@tetracycloide: In theory, yeah. I'll concede that it is certainly possible that two producers can get together, add a whole bunch of crazy shit to an idea, and make it still entertaining. I'll even concede that this movie could turn out to be entertaining.

But man, does it sound stupid.

@codydog: I've got limited money to spend on movie tickets; I need critics to help me evaluate whether or not something like this is going to be worth what it'll cost.

If I wanted to make fun of Hancock, I don't think I could come up with something better than the description above.

Except if the whole movie was set designed and costumed by Rob Liefeld.

Wow. I actually think Superhero movie may be better than Hancock. If these are the original scripts they are producing now adays I can see why so many remakes are in the works.

If that is the story of Hancock, Brian Michael Bendis can probably sue, because that backstory about the god who lost his powers and has amnesia is right out of Powers, his original comic book.

It's been my experience that having the plot and certain details laid out like that tends to make any movie seem like a joke.

I'm willing to give it a chance to suck on its own merit. Superhero Movie, on the other hand...ugh.

I'm pretty sure that is real history, according to Scientologists anyhow.

Wow, that's one of the most coked-up scripts I've heard of in a long time.

Someone has a bad habit to pay off (writer, producer, whoever greenlit the movie).

@ManchuCandidate: I wonder if she has the ability to walk on water.

Never rely on early screenings of a flick. AICN has received a few spy reports that both of these flick do not really suck that much. So the opinion goes both ways. As for Hancock, it's pretty hard to imagine it going completely wrong. Both Smith and Berg have their respective trades pretty much dialed in (Smith more so), so the above mess of a story doesn't really sound like it will be anywhere near the end product - if it at all is actually what has been screened so far.

Considering AICN is the worst fanboy-ish movie site in the history of the intarwebs, I trust them as much as I would Dick Cheney's opinion of Iron Man.

Throws hat onto ground!
What's with Hancock?
That is just the most effed up plot I've ever heard for a superhero movie. It's riffin' off the Eternals with their immortality and crap.
I for one am willing to wait for it.
Poor Michael, he gets Charlize Theron, and it turns out she is different from the average human.

Hancock really does smell of Scientology now. icky

@Grey_Area:

Yeah, that's not good.

So did everybody involved in Hancock get together and do whippets the weekend they decided to write the script? Cause that's the impression I'm getting.

And as for Superhero Movie, I'll wait for it to hit HBO. It's like Leslie Nielsen is just biding his time waiting for the greenlight on a sequel to 2001: A Space Travesty.

Love the spoiler tags... but it probably saved me 20 bucks from seeing Hancock.

I fucking knew it! Hancock does suck!

Would have been much better if they stayed with the "drunken Superhero" line, instead they went down the "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" alley.

I missed everything after Charlize Theron was starring in it.