The people competing to be Stan Lee's newest superhero in Who Wants To Be A Superhero? must not have seen his 2006 TV movie Lightspeed. Lightspeed stars Sean Connery's son Jason as Daniel Leight, a government agent who gains the ability to run at super-speed... but the speed is killing his metabolism. (Just imagine Stan Lee creating the Flash... again!) This is the only watchable scene in the whole thing, thanks to supervillain Python's dialogue about face-eating, blow-torch leg amputation, and severed legs running in circles. Actually, we're not sure what Python is talking about, but it sounds massively creepy.
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