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Guess Who's Back On Heroes Next Year!

spoilers2.jpgAs usual, we've done the hard stuff for you ahead of time in Morning Spoilers. This time around, that includes sifting out the "April Fools" stuff that people started posting a day early. We've included some of it for Lost and X-Files 2, but it's clearly labeled. And there are genuine spoilers for Wanted, Doctor Who, Smallville, Heroes and the next Superman movie. Plus new promo pics from Speed Racer and Battlestar Galactica. You won't be fooled, but you will be spoiled.

Wanted:

A new one-sheet for super-assassin movie Wanted gives a pretty detailed plot synopsis, which makes the film sound a bit... well, stupid. Here's what it says:

25-year-old Wes (James McAvoy) was the most disaffected, cube-dwelling drone the planet had ever known. His boss chewed him out hourly, his girlfriend ignored him routinely and his life plodded on interminably. Everyone was certain this disengaged slacker would amount to nothing. There was little else for Wes to do but wile away the days and die in his slow, clock-punching rut.

Until he met a woman named Fox (Angelina Jolie).

After his estranged father is murdered, the deadly sexy Fox recruits Wes into the Fraternity, a secret society that trains Wes to avenge his dad's death by unlocking his dormant powers. As she teaches him how to develop lightning-quick reflexes and phenomenal agility, Wes discovers this team lives by an ancient, unbreakable code: carry out the death orders given by fate itself.

With wickedly brilliant tutors—including the Fraternity's enigmatic leader, Sloan (Morgan Freeman)—Wes grows to enjoy all the strength he ever wanted. But, slowly, he begins to realize there is more to his dangerous associates than meets the eye. And as he wavers between newfound heroism and vengeance, Wes will come to learn what no one could ever teach him: he alone controls his destiny.

Speed Racer:

Here are some new promo pics from May's Speed Racer.

Superman

If Superman Returns does get a sequel, chances are Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor will be back. At least, Spacey says he's already signed to appear in it. [Cinemablend]

Doctor Who:

The first episode of Doctor Who season four, "Partners In Crime," is a "comedy episode" and features 15 minutes during which the Doctor and Donna are both investigating the same thing, but keep managing to miss each other. At one point, they're in the same office, but whenever the Doctor stands up, Donna looks down, and so on. Sarah Lancashire's evil diet pill scheme involves the fact that she controls what happens to your fat after it leaves your body.

And then in the second episode, "Fires of Pompeii," the Doctor and Donna lose the TARDIS in Pompeii, just a few hours before the eruption. Donna befriends a family that she wants to save, but the Doctor doesn't want to save them. And there are scary soothsayers in addition to those rock monsters, the Pyrovillians. [TV Scoop]

Meanwhile, here are some rumors and rank speculation about the end of season four and the specials that follow. Donna turns evil, and in fact is in league with the Master (an evil Time Lord) all along. Rose dies at the end of the season, giving the Doctor a new reason to be sad. The Doctor reprograms the Cybermen to help him defeat an army of evil Time Lords. (This one has been debunked already.) And the Rani, another evil Time Lord, appears in this year's Christmas special. [Doctor Who Forum]

Battlestar Galactica

Here are some stills from the third new Battlestar Galactica episode, "The Ties That Bind," which is rumored to be the one where Cally kills herself. [Dryope]

Smallville:

The rest of Smallville season seven is all about Lex's fall to the dark side. And Lex finds what he's always been searching for, says executive producer Brian Peterson. The season finale sets up all the storylines in season eight, which he hinted may answer some of fans' longstanding questions about when various elements of the Superman mythos will show up. [Sci Fi Wire]

Heroes

Kristen Bell thinks she'll back on Heroes as Elle the zappy psycho girl this fall. [Superhero Hype]

Lost:

"Leaked" script pages for the end of the Lost season finale have a mystery woman (probably Kate) dying in Jack's arms. And then it turns out Jack's dad is the evil mastermind behind everything bad in the world. Too bad these awesome pages also contain the words "April Fools" in a not-too-subtle code. [Doc Arzt's Lost Blog]

X-Files 2

And another piece of info that we're assuming is an April Fools thing. Supposedly Fox wanted to call the X-Files sequel X-Files: Curse of the Werepeople, but Chris Carter insisted on calling it X-Files: Full Moon Rising. And the film is Cat People meets American Werewolf In London. Ohhhkay then. [IESB]

6:00 AM on Tue Apr 1 2008
By Charlie Jane Anders
7,745 views
23 comments

Comments

  • saw my 1st big screen Speed Racer preview the other day...i think i'm still seizing.

  • Image of braak braak at 06:12 AM on 04/01/08 *

    Good job, producers of Wanted. I mean, it was a pretty stupid comic in the first place, but at least it had a point.

  • Too bad Superman only has one villain to fight. Over and over and over...

  • Image of Miranda Kali Miranda Kali at 06:29 AM on 04/01/08 *

    Blast it all. I was hoping for more trailer-trash vampires in X-Files 2. "Bad Blood"...best episode ev-er.

  • Image of braak braak at 06:34 AM on 04/01/08 *

    @Gyrus: Well, let's be reasonable, here. What other villains are there for him to fight that would be exciting and dramatic? Braniac? Darkseid? Solaris the Stellar Computer?

    How could any of those villains compete with a BALD MAN IN A SUIT?!?!?!?

  • Just rerad the synopsises of both the comic (on Wikipedia) and the movie and they could be of two different stories, it feels to me that itt is just one rewrite (to change the names and first ten minutes) away from an original movie, and who on earth reads "all the world's super-villains decided to band together in 1986 and use their vast collective powers - including mad science, magic and mind control - to eliminate all the world's superheroes and rewrite reality in their own dark image" and thinks that "this team lives by an ancient, unbreakable code: carry out the death orders given by fate itself". Twats.

  • @braak: The point being that Mark Millar has nothing but contempt for his audience and believes that, given the slightest opportunity, we'll all turn into racist, mass-murdering rapists.

    Also: Morgan Freeman's character is named Sloan? Is this thing an alternate universe Alias sequel? Is JJ Abrams involved?

  • @braak: Darkseid? Please! No one would believe in a villain that over the top, I mean, he's a ruthless dictator of an alien planet who rules through fear and oppression, with designs on conquering the peace loving people of the universe. No one these days would believe in such a minor threat.

    It's much more interesting to watch the most powerful being in the solar system fight an evil bald man in a suit whose grandiose plans involve shady real estate deals and magic green rocks.

  • Image of braak braak at 06:42 AM on 04/01/08 *

    @KiddChaos: Well, yes, that was the point. I'm not saying it was a good point, just that it had one, where this movie clearly does not.

  • "15 minutes during which the Doctor and Donna are both investigating the same thing, but keep managing to miss each other."

    What.

    WHAT.

    There is nothing I hate more than this. I stopped playing Kingdom Hearts because this happened when you got to Traverse Town and have never touched the sequel.

    Oh my god what? What? Why? Please be an April Fool's.

  • Image of braak braak at 06:46 AM on 04/01/08 *

    @Gyrus: They are shady real estate deals. Every plan Lex Luthor has involves real estate, with mass-murder as collateral damage.

  • @braak: I think the point of the movie is to prove that Matrix ripoffs are still viable box office money-makers.

  • @Gyrus: So Lex Luthor is behind the subprime meltdown? I knew it!

  • Image of braak braak at 07:00 AM on 04/01/08 *

    @KiddChaos: Yeah, well. We'll just see about that.

  • So within the space of two weeks, we'll have Sarah Jane fighting an evil alien softdrink company, and the Doctor fighting an evil alien diet pill company?

    Maybe it's time the Whoiverse gets new writers.

  • So wait a minute, why is Dr. Jack beating up Don Konke from "Dirt"?

  • @Huxleyhobbes: I could take five minutes of that maybe, but fifteen minutes?!

    I'm totally going to send those Lost foilers to some of my favorite Losties. They're gonna go omgwtfpolarbear?! before they realize it's an April Fool's joke.

  • @Huxleyhobbes: This actually harks back to the First Doctor story, "The Romans," which had the Doctor and his companions split up in Nero's palace and constantly "just missing" each other.

    The Radio Times has published the (almost) complete list of S4 episode titles:

    1. Partners in Crime
    2. The Fires of Pompell
    3. Planet of the Ood
    4. The Sontaran Stratagem
    5. The Poison Sky
    6. The Doctors Daughter
    7. The Unicorn & The Wasp
    8. Silence in the Library
    9. River's Run
    10. Midnight
    11. Turn Left
    12. TBA
    13. Journey's End

    Want to bet 12 has "- of the Daleks" in the title?

  • That list of Doctor Who episode sounds good. Journey's End, with only 3 episodes after that for Christmas and next year... well it does sound likely that Tennant will not be coming back.

  • Who would of thought that Speed Racer would end up being a better movie than Wanted?

    I realize that Hollywood could not render Wanted EXACTLY like the comics, but puh-leez!

  • cally is gorgeous even when she's haggard. She's been my crush since the miniseries.

  • I hope Speed ends up being a fun popcorn movie.

  • Where did the Cally suicide spoiler come from? I must have missed that one.

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