The Best "Tip" Email We've Ever Received

Normally, we wouldn't ask, but listen: We kind of need to borrow a million dollars from you. I know, it's awkward and everything, but I promise that we'll pay it back when we can, and you'd not be giving us money, you'd be giving it to the cause of investigative journalism, I promise. After all, who wouldn't pay a million dollars for an inside scoop on the Arizona-based drug-fuelled sexploits of the creator of a TV-turned-movie franchise? Yeah, I thought that'd get your attention. Possibly the greatest "tip" email we've ever received after the jump.

Here's what came through the io9 emailbox this morning:

If you're really interested in the X-Files, I'm the guy who got Chris Carter (and a stunning brunette not his wife) to come to a Navajo peyote ceremony outside Window Rock, Arizona. It's quite an interesting story, and I'd be willing to tell it for... one million dollars! ;-)

(Why $1,000,000? Simple: I will have to leave the country, and possibly the planet, to evade the shapeshifting alien hit men Carter will send to silence me if I dare speak out!)

Actually, I'd be willing to tell it to anybody who'd listen, but I write for a living and I like to pay my bills.

You need a million dollars to pay your bills, Mr. Mystery Gossiphound (Yes, we know his real name)? Really? Those are some impressive bills that you've got going on - Apparently the price of peyote has skyrocketed in Arizona recently. Or maybe it'd be pre-emptive libel lawsuit maneuvers that you'd be investigating, following that whole "a stunning brunette not his wife" thing...