This summer's remake of Journey To The Center of the Earth can't possibly be as pulptastic as this 1999 TV movie version, starring Treat Williams. Sure, the new Brendan Fraser vehicle will be 3-D and have actual special effects, but will it have jungle women doing a super-choreographed dance around a roasting dinosaur head? I didn't think so. Another clip, below the fold, showcases more things the new Journey won't have: matriarchs in Bette Midler-esque red feather headgear, jealous stone-axe-waving husbands — and lizard people who want to watch two random humans do the nasty in exchange for a piece of weird cantaloupe.