io9
It's comforting to know that during the height of Reagan's Cold War in the 1980s, the Soviet Union was making movies that were just as cheesy as the ones you could see in the United States. When you see this clip of the scary, growling radioactive giant turtle from Мутанты (which means Mutant), you'll be forced to concede that the Soviet Union would not ever have lost the cheesy flick arms race. Especially if the cheesy movie war had been fought with giant monster movies. Alas, I don't speak Russian so I can't understand the dialog. But that didn't get in the way of my appreciation at all. I had a genuine moment of cross-cultural understanding. [English Russia] (Thanks, DieR!)
Beware Giant Radioactive Turtles of the Soviet Era
It's comforting to know that during the height of Reagan's Cold War in the 1980s, the Soviet Union was making movies that were just as cheesy as the ones you could see in the United States. When you see this clip of the scary, growling radioactive giant turtle from Мутанты (which means Mutant), you'll be forced to concede that the Soviet Union would not ever have lost the cheesy flick arms race. Especially if the cheesy movie war had been fought with giant monster movies. Alas, I don't speak Russian so I can't understand the dialog. But that didn't get in the way of my appreciation at all. I had a genuine moment of cross-cultural understanding. [
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8:20 AM on Tue Apr 15 2008
By Annalee Newitz
1,938 views
15 comments
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the title appears to imply that i need not fear radioactive turtles from other eras. i think a radioactive turtle from the 'axis of evil' era would be equally worth of my fear.
Soviet - Mutant - Giant - Turtles!
Soviet - Mutant - Giant - Turtles!
Colossus in a half shell!
Drink Stoli!
Translation:
-It's so huge!
::machine gun fire::
-I think it's gone
::they see the turtle::
-It's coming back
::some more gunfire::
-Don't waste ammo, it's ineffective
@Cin: Awesome. Now if only we had somebody who could translate what the turtle was thinking.
@Annalee Newitz: Pfftt... what any mutant turtle thinks, he wanted his pizza, he was wondering where Shredder was, and why everyone was speaking some wacky language.
The best part of this flick was the guy falling over when the grenade went off, glad to see the Russians mastered the power of the pillow fight.
damn that turtle was fast! those people didn't stand a chance.
@Annalee Newitz: "consistantly shooting me against different back drops in every scene is only going to confuse the audience but i shouldn't mention anything to the director because i really need this job. anything to avoid more sexually dimorphic porn gigs."
I wonder how many pair of American jeans were bartered to get this film made.
I see the evident inspirations for Cloverfield.
"during the height of Reagan's Cold War in the 1980s. . ."
Kind of like saying, "during the height of Roosevelt's World War II in the 1940s. . . "
@Daveinva: Kind of.
That was so funny! My co-workers are a little alarmed by the peals of laughter and hysterical shouts of "It's a Turtle! It's a Turtle!"
I've always had a soft spot for Very Slow Scary Things like triffids, classic zombies, poisonous glaciers, or the silicates from "Island of Terror" [www.imdb.com] (must see!)
Grodd bless you, Annalee, for making my week.
Quick Tip: If a super slow turtle is coming at you, don't stand there waiting for someone to break a window, just go AROUND the building.
With all that moaning is sounded like the turtle was doing more than biting her jacket. Put that tongue away! AND TAKE THE JACKET OFF YOU IDIOT!!!
I also loved how the door "fell" on the one who threw the grenade. That was a fast grenade.
This was so bad it was good. Good as in funny. Not good as in good.
THIS IS COMEDY GOLD!
@Miranda Kali: You are now my favorite person ever.
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