My lord. I must have one. Soon I will be able to use my super-disguise to rob space-banks. Then, I can go to space-vegas and anonymously pick up space-showgirls.

Incidentally, adding 'space' to a phrase automatically makes it retro-future as in:

"I am speaking to you as the President of Space. In this year of 1975 we congratulate the first mission to Venus."

WANT.

Let's try it out:
"I picked up a space STD on space spring break in space Florida, and now I have to explain it to my space girlfriend. Space awkward!"

Gee wiz, those space helmets sure are neat.
I can't wait to send in my Ralston top.

Didn't Ralston used to come with a free packets of space smokes in every box as well?

@bigswingdaddy: I am going to remember this for future space posts.

I had one of those! I was 5 years old, and I waited for it to come in the mail. When it did I put it on, ran outside, and was Sooooooooooo disapointed when I couldn't fly!

Down syndrome?

WHO?
Who's on third.

@Lynn Peril: Retro-Futurism is truly my favorite part of io9. Thank you, thank you. Each one makes my mind explode with randomness.

a) They really needed the Baha Men for this commercial: "Who is this guy? Who? Who? Who? Who?"

b) So Mono-view refers to the one-way mirror? I thought maybe It just blinded me in one eye so I lost all depth-perception

c) Why is Cadet Happy making out with his mask? Maybe Mr. Cadet Too Happy?

d) Why was the awesome power of anonymity so rare at the time? Was there a shortage of ski masks and sunglasses?

d) "25 Cents in coins." Who would say that now? Who would ever imagine making 0.25 out of anything except a quarter. Even if you would accept other variations, wouldn't you say "Send a quarter"?

d) Space Patrol
Box 812
St Louis MO

How awesome is that address? No zip code. A triple-digit PO Box number. No location of any kind above the PO Box. Nope just one line of crazy, one little number, and a city.

My quarter is in the mail now. Oh Boy Oh Boy. I can't wait for the 8 to 10 weeks for delivery.

You realize that helmet is probably made out of pure asbestos and is colored with lead paint. I wouldn't be suprised if there was aome mercury and cigarettes thrown in there also. Then again, that's half the fun.

@92BuickLeSabre: Aw, thanks! By the way, I really, really thought about making a Cadet Happy joke but I can't work blue before coffee.

...And to think, the Soviets eventually went bankrupt trying to master the secrets of our mono-view, space glass.

Space Thanks to you all.

I didn't know that Mr. Happy had enlisted. Put a helmet on that soldier!

Wow, he had brain surgery and died in 1958. Maybe that was an asbestos helmet.

That voice kind of sounds like John Wayne.

And to think our kids will be laughing that hard at the commercials and movies that we think are so amazing.

Wait, which ones are those?