io9
The 1997 Justice League TV movie is like a tutorial on how not to do superheroes on film, from the stiff, I-can't-move costumes to the incredibly cheesy dialogue and acting. (Although I think the little documentary-interview segments are a neat idea, just horribly executed.) Here's the scene where our point-of-view character Tori Olafsdotter meets the rest of the League, who are based on the mid-1990s comics lineup of characters you've never heard of except Flash and Green Lantern. No matter how awful George Miller's abortive Justice League: Mortal might have been, it would have looked great compared to this disaster.
The 1997 Justice League TV movie is like a tutorial on how not to do superheroes on film, from the stiff, I-can't-move costumes to the incredibly cheesy dialogue and acting. (Although I think the little documentary-interview segments are a neat idea, just horribly executed.) Here's the scene where our point-of-view character Tori Olafsdotter meets the rest of the League, who are based on the mid-1990s comics lineup of characters you've never heard of except Flash and Green Lantern. No matter how awful George Miller's abortive Justice League: Mortal might have been, it would have looked great compared to this disaster.
The above clip also showcases one of the biggest challenges of doing a super-team movie or TV show properly: shoehorning in everybody's origins and explaining how all these random people got together. Justice League gets around this problem by making the Martian Manhunter into the Charlie, and all of the other Leaguers into his Angels. Sadly, J'onn J'onnz, Manhunter from Mars, is also kind of a dick, judging from the way he introduces himself to Tori disguised as her creepy coworker who's actually a supervillain.
I wanted to find a clip of the League doing something superheroic and using their powers in an awesome way, but sadly that doesn't really happen in Justice League. The TV movie's big final set piece consists of Green Lantern incompetently confronting the arch-villain, the Weatherman, and failing to prevent him from activating his weather disaster machine. And then the Flash incompetently carries a few kids to safety, but fails to take them far enough. And Tori, who's been pretty useless up until this point, finally stops the Weather Man's destructive tidal wave by freezing it with her ice powers. And Green Lantern, maybe overcompensating for his total failure a few moments earlier, makes a dumb crack about how the Weatherman is always wrong.
As dull as many superhero movies have been since Sam Raimi and Chris Nolan made the genre viable again, it's good to remember how dire they really were, back in the nadir of the Joel Schumacher era.
Comments
Why does the Martian Manhunter sound like Frasier?
The firestarter chick could get it.
Just wait until Pierce and Hunnicutt hear about this.
(Although Final's is right, he does sound like Frasier...although that's not surprising given that Frasier was totally a rip-off of Winchester.)
What.
The Fuck.
Was that.
My eyes.
He killed Mozart.
On the one hand, Flash looks as stupid as I imagine someone dressed like the Flash might look. On the other hand, he's not the stupidest looking character, so even that gets lost in translation.
CAUSES PAIN!
Why was Green Lanturn's mask made from 1/2 inch foam? Wouldn't cloth be better/cheaper?
That hurt me. Deep inside. My very being.
Oh, the superhumanity!
I like how they had her blindfolded in the elevator.. Don't want her to know what floor the command deck is?
Oh Miguel Ferrer, you silly goose...showing up in all the crappy scifi to give it a shred of credibility.
Jesus, that sucked. Why does The Martian Manhunter have such a huge head?
Oh yeahhh, the 90s. That explains everything.
@DocGratis: She was probably blindfolded the entire way there for the integrity of the complex. After all, imagine this scenario:
Villain: Where is the Justice League headquarters?!
Tori: At the bottom of the ocean!
Villain: Ha ha! I have them now!
Anyone remember the (1993?) short-lived CBS series The Flash? It could've worked.
And Charlie - what (presumably cable) net was this stinker on?
I watched this clip with my godkids. This could be construed as a form of child endangerment. I'm so glad that they are growing up to be geeks of taste and learning. And now with your kind indulgence, here are their snarky comments:
Jack(age 11): Why must they degrade the Green Lantern's good name by making him look so stupid?
Camilla (age 12): I think I made better Halloween costumes when I was 5. The part at the end with the people talking made no sense at all.
@Grey_Area: *wipes away tear*
That's beautiful, man.
@bornagaincrisco: I am assuming you are thinking of Frank Murray Abraham from the movie Amadeus. This guy is actually Miguel Ferrer.
They definitely look alike though.
Thank you, I believe in doing all I can for the next generation. It's just about their bedtime but we're going out to throw rocks at passing cars first.
Children are the future. Grodd bless us all, every one.
It should be noted that despite Michael Keaton not being able to turn his head in his costume, he was the best batman (by a huge amount) until Christian Bale. Batman and Batman Returns are classics.
@In Other News...: This was never televised in the U.S.... it was shown in a few European and Latin American countries.
J'onn J'onnz has a chin that could kill.
@Bluecell: I lay that firmly in the hands of Tim Burton, rather than Michael Keaton. With such a stiff costume, choosing when not to show it is the secret to success. Of course, if he were hired to do Batman now, we'd probably get Johnny Depp as the Joker and Helena Bonham Carter as Catwoman.
what? how come I've never seen this? Is this just bad, or so bad it's good kinda thing?
why do I have the urge to take a shit all of the sudden?
Is it just me, or did her voice have that screeching nails-on-a-chalkboard quality to it?
Holy crap. That was DAVID OGDEN STIERS. He must have really needed the money...
[us.imdb.com]
BTW - Love the front porch on Martian Manhunter, I guess when you have super powers you can take an extra trip to the all-you-can-eat buffet.
Yes, it is awful, but people don't realize that this was a pilot for a TV series: pilots shoot on a limited budget, to give the networks an idea of what it will be like. They don't spend a lot of money on sets or costumes: they wait until the networks start footing the bill, then spend the money.
Yes, it's bad. But it shouldn't be compared to an actual movie production.
Miguel Ferrer did end up as the voice of the Martian Manhunter in the Justice League: New Frontier movie, though.
How did they find an actress who has Kathy Ireland's voice from Alien From L.A.?
@vjmurphy: Miguel Ferrer also ended up as the Weatherman, again, in that episode of Superman where the Flash guest-starred (which also used Danny Elfman's theme music from the Flash TV show).
I'm pretty sure the Martian Manhunter has a future where he falls in love with Lwaxanna Troi, who talks him out of ritual suicide at age 55. Sounds like the same guy, anyway.
Or maybe that was his past.
J'onn really let himself go after his son, Lloyd, moved away with that French exchange student.
They renamed Tora to Tori? That's stupid.
well, to be honest the line-up looks like the JLA/JLI from roughly the same time period. J'ozz, Guy Gardner (I'm assuming from the costume, not the haircut), Fire, Ice, and the Flash. I don't remember the Atom in that line-up, but it's been a while. I'll have to look for a bootleg of this at HeroesCon. Maybe I'll pick up the GenX pilot while I'm at it.
No Blue Beetle? For Shame!
My eyes, googles, nothing...
This is bad but it's light years ahead of Roger Corman's Fantastic Four.
The documentary parts were also done (and much, much better) in another superhero movie, The Specials.
actually i wonder if the two movies share some of the same crew...
Wow, David Ogden Stiers wearing a mask made of playdough. Trippy.
Martian Manhunter: Your first alien I presume?
Tori: Well, I met Lenord Nemoy once.
que the laugh track
If I was aware of this movie in the mid 90s and it was available, I would have watched it.
Fascinating.
Horrible, yet fascinating.
Still better than the Elektra movie.
@Redface, The Dark Messiah of Justice:
because it's David Ogden Stiers and his head is ENORMOUS.
As dull as many superhero movies have been since Sam Raimi and Chris Nolan made the genre viable again.
You forgot to mention Bryan Singer. Without him Sam Raimi and Chris Nolan never would have gotten a shot at those comic properties and the genre would still be a joke.
@bobarobes: The genre has been viable since the 1970s. The problem has always been that the films usually required a budget for special effects and were largely seen as juvenile source material. Which generally speaking is true.
Donner's Superman made the genre viable. But it was folks like Neil Gaiman and Alan Moore that made the source material more acceptable in the first place that such adaptions could be possible. While it may be fashionable to say how Burton's Batman is not serious enough NOW, back in 1989 it was thrilling to see a superhero movie taken seriously and sufficiently dark...and starring some actors who were famous BEFORE the movie. Alex Proyas made superheros cool with The Crow in 1992.
The idea that there was this big, long period where no good superhero movies were made until X-men is kind of myopic. The biggest difference X-men made was that they actually wore 'sort of' costumes, resembled their comic counterparts somewhat accurately and audiences could clearly see a subtext to the material.
That said, this is GODAWFUL. And I LOVED the JLA incarnation this was based on, as long ago as it now feels.
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