"Like an old trunk? Or a refrigerator?"
"Or Cher."
"Now I know."
"And knowing is half the battle."

/fixed

I can only assume that folks have seen the old "Stupid Videos" spoofs of the GI JOE PSAs. Especially this one: [www.stupidvideos.com]

But when I talk back to my parents, they lock me up in an old regfrigator. What do you say to that, Bumblebee?

Wow, I thought hasbro made Fensler get rid of those. Nice that you kept or found them Meredith.

Silly Turtles. Everybody knows you smoke the weed, then get a pizza. Not the other way around.

"...and knowing is half the battle."

"What's the other half?"

Blowin Fuckers Heads Off

@92BuickLeSabre: Thanks for posting that. I was a little shocked those didn't make it the main article.

DONT GIVE HIM THE STICK!!!!

And boy did Michael Bay screw up Transformers.. I mean Transformers having lips? oh.. wait.

Oh, that's not the Fensler stuff. This is the Fensler stuff

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"I'm not a chicken, you're a TURKEY!"

God, I've always remembered that Ninja Turtles PSA from when I was a kid. I've smoked a lot of weed since then.

@Priam: Yes. Thank you. I apologize to Eric Fensler personally for forgetting where I originally saw the videos and attributing them to Stupid Videos.

Either way, I just re-watched them and laughed so hard I cried. [www.fenslerfilm.com]

I'm pretty sure GI Joe is a robot, alien, or on some kind of futuristic drug in at least half of them, so they seem fitting for io9.

You didn't put the best Star Wars PSA up there. "R2, do you really think I don't have a heart?"

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Stupid Turtles. The message should be: "Never say no to free weed"

@Priam: Dude, you forgot the best Fensler one - "Hey kid, I'm a computer. Stop all the downloading."

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Ah, the good old days, back when 22 minutes of senseless violence could be balanced out with 50 seconds of a totally unrelated "lesson" and parents everywhere were happy.

I seem to remember the SuperFriends having PSAs that would actually get you killed, like "if you see a stray dog in your neighborhood, make friends with it! Let it sniff your hand!" Yeah, let us know how that works out, kid...

@StrangelyBrown:

Violence in G.I. Joe??? How can you say that?

There may have been a lot of shooting and explosions but no one ever got shot or killed, just like the real War On Terror.

These really do show the danger of poorly thought out PSAs...before telling me what to do:

Shouldn't Bumblebee pick up on that tell-tale clue, when the kid holds his eye when talking about his parents?

Shouldn't He-Man simply avoid talking about my body at all costs?

Shouldn't Liono stop calling people Ho?

@StrangelyBrown:
sound's outta sync, but whatever.

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@Garrison Dean, King Awesome: Well, it was a long time ago, but I seem to remember one of the superheros actually going up to the strange dog and letting him smell his palm, then suddenly the menacing beast was all licks and wags. It was the exact opposite of the GI Joe spot. I tried looking for it online, but there are only like 1-2 of the (non-overdubbed) SF PSAs on YouTube, so, schade.

@se7a7n7: My bad -- I meant 22 minutes of Happy Fun Time With Lasers! In retrospect, I now realize how GI Joe was preparing us all to accept our military's current lack of success in capturing a certain terrorist mastermind on a weekly basis.

Or as MC Chris would say "Knowing is Half the Hassle"

OK, I understand that in the "old" days, when fridges had the meat locker handle+steel door, kids could get trapped inside. But whenever I see people who take the door off a modern fridge, I always ask them why. "Because a kid could get trapped inside", they say. To which I say, "The door doesn't lock, and the only seal is a 1/4" piece of rubber. If a kid can't push a foam door open, she he be playing outside?"

I like the one fensler film w/ Doc singing all Jamaican like.

@92BuickLeSabre: Didn't Snarf used to drink Snarfberry wine or something similar?

Or was that Gummi bears?

@bitgod: But unlike the Thundercats:

The Tussin, The Tussin
Put it down like it was nothing.
Robocop couldn't stop me puking and flushin'.
No balls to be bustin', no fightin', no cussin',
Just love for a drug called Robotussin.

I remember all those but my favorite ones weren't on there. Like the GI Joe that warned me about the danger of swimming during a lightening storm. The smurfs episode about not standing under trees and metal poles during a lightening storm and lets not forget the psa from The Littles about not fling kites during a lightening storm.

Sure you guys can laugh and think it's silly just because you're all fancy and have parents. Some of us had to learn between 2:30 and 5 pm until they kicked us out of radio shack. Dic, Ubu and Hallmark thank you for distributing not only fine entertainment but life lessons as well.

@Git Em SteveDave:

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Pork-chop Sandwiches!!

And my favorite rasta:

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The pork chop sandwhichs used to be my favorite back in the day. I am liking these two the best.

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@Final:

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Man, those Fensler vids caused some serious laughs here a few years back, I'd totally forgotten about them!

Here in Norway commercials aimed at children are illegal, and I suppose that extends to PSAs as well, because we sure didn't have anything like this when I grew up. That He-Man one is just so creepy and surreal...!

I remember seeing that Star Wars one! Probably during "Saturday Night Live", which is ironic considering all the substances that cast consumed. Thanks for the flashback, Meredith.

I always loved the Animaniacs parodies of these things with "Wheel Of Morality".

Who wants a body massage?

Body massage machine.... GO!

I was always partial to the astronomy lessons Bluegrass gave to The Copper Kid at the end of every episode of Silverhawks. Plus I believe there were also similar PSAs at the end of C.O.P.S. and Filmation's Ghostbusters.

Does anyone else find themselves wondering what an Eternian rabbi would look like?

@LicenseFarm: OMG The Copper Kid. He seemed so cool now if they had a character like that I'd think he was Autistic.

@Priam: mumblemumble mumble point point.

@LicenseFarm: Was the that the Ghostbusters w/the gorilla and the bone phone, or the on based on the movie?

I just discovered all of these a month or two ago and heck I just had to collect the whole set!

GREAT GREAT STUFF!

The best Fensler parody is the one with the kid just falling off a cliff.

I first learned about the heimlich maneuver from a PSA during an episode of Super Friends. I later used it to save a classmate who was choking during lunch. I got a letter from President Reagan. Who knew watching Batman squeeze Robin could be so educational?

Love the Fensler stuff!

Thanks for bringing up the Fensler stuff. Was tinkering with the idea of doing another update on scifi PSA spoofs because there are so many. "Don't forget your sandwiches...look at all your different colored hats" is the first Fensler I ever youtubed. But you gotta love the, "stop all the downloading."

@BullfightsOnAcid: Most definitely the best one.

I actually looked up funny psa on youtube, this was the only better than decent one I could find.

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@Zapp Brannigan's Girdle: When I've screened all of these for friends (yes, this has happened more than once, and once they started watching them, they were quite happy to oblige), I showed that one in the middle or about 3/4 of the way through, because it's so unexpected.

1. Do a google search for "Don't put mustard on the cat!"

2. @Evil Tortie's Mom: Got news for you - I did IT work for NBC until a few months back. My office was on the ninth floor of 30 Rock and every time I worked a Saturday, which was quite often, the seventh, eighth and ninth floors all reeked of... well, various drugs, actually. You got used to the smell after a while.

off topic, i know, but the Office PSAs are pretty good too.

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@Priam: Pork Chop Sandwiches is the best one ever. Every time I see it I cry from laughing so hard.

i'm crying just thinking of the Fensler PSAs. *namedropping alert* some friends of mine used to be friends with him.. we all got together at a rooftop gallery one time to watch a bunch of artsy fartsy shorts.. then he busted out these on us. god, i was dying.

@Git Em SteveDave: Definitely the gorilla, bone phone, Ghostbuggy and sexy, sexy Futura with the purple skin. Mmm...

@Final: He might have been autistic, but he was somehow better adjusted than Keeyop on Battle of the Planets, who served much the same role. (Actually, in the Japanese original, Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman, Jinpei, that character, is so foul-mouthed that the first American version had no idea how to write for him, so they gave him to burbles to cover.)