All of the above! (but 'specialy the bit about no sequels.)

The Matrix: Reloaded is superior to the first film.

If the answer is monkey poop and animated penguins, I'm never going to believe anything Annalee says ever again.

@Foggynotion: Wow. I've got to hear your support for this statement.

I know it's not the chocolate cake t, because if there's one thing Annalee Newitz loves, it's remote-control orgasms.

@moff: I guess it's pretty obvious, then. But what you don't know are my feelings about Vikings.

@Dr. Futurity: A funny thing would be if Foggynotion said, "Oh, sorry -- I meant The Matrix Revolutions."

@B: Monkey poop in bullet time? C'mon, doesn't that appeal? Mwahahaah.

@Annalee Newitz: I assumed you feel that Vikings are awesome. Because they are.

@Foggynotion: Do you run UNIX or some flavor of it? Because only people who like UNIX (or GNU/Linux) like the second movie better than the first. I have empirical evidence.

@Annalee Newitz: Uhhh, no. And i only like Animated penguins when they are being eaten by whales.

I know! I know!

...Only make one.

No comment on this, but whoever wrote that blithering diatribe over at Defamer about this movie is an asshole. A stupid, utter jackoff.

I would write that on Defamer, but they'd probably banninate me.

@Annalee Newitz:
Monkey poop in bullet time? Uhhhh. Not so much.
Vikings riding Segways while having chocolate cake, remote induced orgasms in bullet time?
Oh HELLS yes!

@Annalee Newitz: I am glad you said what you did about it being better. I have some work I'm doing that may involve the brothers here in Chicago and so I have been biting my tongue. That being said I am still a fan of the Matrix and Bound :) (cheeese)

For me, this is not a movie I'll pay to see in the theatre. It's not a movie I'll pay to rent. It may not even be a movie I make time for when it's on free TV 4 years from now.

The SpeedRacer G.A.F. Factor is stitting at a steady zero.

@Plague: I gotta say, despite the negative hype, Speed Racer was really good. I was incredibly surprised because all the advance publicity said "bomb," but the flick was fun all the way through.

I still don't understand why people didn't like the Matrix trilogy. All three movies made perfect sense to me.

@TheFemGeek: Yay! I love Bound. And I will always have a soft spot in my heart for all three Matrix flicks.

@Annalee Newitz:

Everyone loves Bound. Or at least...about 5 minutes of it...set to repeat....

/digs out his DVD

@Annalee Newitz:
There wasn't a single pertinent point in that post except the usual "Waaaah! They don't do interviews! They like special effects!".

Yeah, that alone decides a movies quality.

@TheAstronot: I found the third movie to be disappointing, but I enjoyed the first two. Maybe I should give the third another chance.

@Foggynotion: I don't know about better than The Matrix, but I'm with you that the sequels were way better than everyone seems to give them credit for. One shitty rave sequence and questionable Smiths vs. Neo CG isn't enough to ruin 4+ hours of car chases, flight fights, mecha vs squid robots, destroyed future landscapes and Monica Belucci.

Even though people complain when sequels just repeat the formula of the original I think that was what people hated about these. They weren't just people doing crazy chop sockey in the Matrix.

@Plague: Dude... Its Defamer. You should know better than to visit the land of Uniformed Snark. Say did you hear Lohan moved in with Samantha Ronson?! After she sold her out to the tabloids!!! Scandalous!

Annalee, you forgot "No Keaneu Reeves" as an option.

@B: Let me save you the time. I thought the same thing a few months ago. I thought: "Maybe I was too hard on Matrix 3...and it's only 4.99 at Walmart".

No, it is unwatchable. If you make it 30 mins without getting up to do something else, I'd be shocked.

I got to see it last night too. It was fun, but parts of it seemed to jump around.

@TheAstronot: Yup. What was confusing? The humans and machines are caught in a loop of mutual destruction until they can learn to coexist.

I going to see it, Speed Racer, at a IMAX theater on Saturday. Can't wait.

Glad to see some love for the Matrix sequels.

@Dr. Futurity: The third one actually happens to be my favorite. And I assure you I can make it through it in one sitting.

@Foggynotion: I don't know about superior, but it definitely could have been a fine entrance into an awesome end story. Unfortunately it wasn't. The Matrix could have been a awesome trilogy if the writing was more pointed and didn't end in the soft sell that it was.

@Annalee Newitz: Most people do not realize that Vikings kick more ass than pirates and ninjas combined. And robots.

Go Speed Racer! I will see it on DVD, provided I have a television worthy of movies by then. Currently I mooch off my friends.

Matrix Revolutions: One EM pulse device? ONE?? You couldn't make twenty more and keep them shielded? Honestly, I'll suspend disbelief for the fantastic (VR world, humans as batteries), but not for the stupid (didn't think to make another EM pulse device).

@Gann: It's shocking what passes for a ninja these days.

@Annalee Newitz: Although ninjas do have the highest comic appeal.
[youtube.com]

It does not have Carrie Anne Moss in leather, ergo it is not better than The Matrix.

It does not have Carrie Anne Moss in a wicked highway chase scene with a Ducati, ergo it is not better than The Matrix Reloaded.

There's a better than average chance that it's better than The Matrix Revolutions.

@Garrison Dean, King Awesome: Ah yes. Monica Belucci. I love the story about the Wachowskis telling her to let her breasts do the acting in Reloaded.

And those shots of her draped in honey and caviar.

I need a minute here...I'll be /right/ back.

What Would Make Speed Racer Better Than The Matrix?

Probably me being eight years old again.

Speed Racer is hovering around 35% on the Tomatometer, and that's the word of God as far as I'm concerned.

...and some of you, whom I respect no less, talking like Matrix 2 & 3 were any good at all? Bad io9 posters! Bad, Bad, io9 posters!!

@Gann: Viking Robots are better than all the others. Combined.

I like that it's set in a candy colored skittletopia.

@Epaminondas: 3's Zion plot was horrible. The entire series started with the noble goal of freeing humanity from its enslavement, and hardly a mention of Zion. In the end, the third movie was all about defending Zion from the machines. There's a disconnect there.

The movie did have some goodness though: Keanu & Carrie Anne get shagadelic; some kick ass fight scenes a la the first one (but a bit too a la...some could have BEEN the first ones.)

The second was better, and more original than the third. It wasn't as shocking as the first, but it was pretty bad ass. That scene where Laurence Fishburne rolls out of the way and takes out the twins' Cadillac with a Katana was just part of the awesome highway chase scene (and a good predictor of the quality level of domestic automotive product.)

Not having a movie entitled and based on the concept of "Speed Racer" would make it better than the Matrix.

I had a piece of chocolate cake earlier.
And then I spent an uncomfortable afternoon in my office chair.

Damn you, Merovingian!

@darcymcgee: Wait, the first movie was about finding The One who could end the war with the machines. And the third movie resolved that story. I'm not seeing the disconnect.

I don't mind sequels but for the love of Jesus please don't tie in religion at the end

The Vibe?

@Smeagol92055: Don't you mean an "extremely comfortable afternoon"?

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