In a world filled with naysayers and disbelievers, you have to thank the gods for Jeff Peckman. The Colorado man's previous forays into civic duty found him attempting to legally enforce stress-reduction techniques on the entire city of Denver. Now he's asking the good people of the Mile High City to vote "Yes" on the creation of a commission to deal with the arrival of aliens from outer space.

To hear his explanation as to why such a commission is necessary, it almost makes sense:

It is important because if you're driving down the highway and you saw a crash of a small spaceship and a car or a bus full of kids, you really wouldn't know what to do... Do you wait for the hazardous materials experts to show up because of potential contaminants from another solar system? What do you do? People really don't know.

His response to this dilemma is to call for the creation of an 18-member panel of citizens to create an official strategy for dealing with close encounters of all three kinds. His proposal only requires 4000 signatures to get on a November ballot, and if there is any justice in the world, at least three thousand and ninety-nine of those people will have signed just to be able to say that democracy helped them to make Denver the most alien-friendly city in all of the 50 states. Karl Rove and Jan-Michael Vincent would be proud.

Man pushes creation of panel to prepare city for space aliens [The Rocky Mountain News]

7:30 AM on Thu May 8 2008
By Graeme McMillan
673 views
19 comments

Comments

TheRealVeon at 07:45 AM on 05/08/08
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Perhaps he should first demonstrate that spaceship crashes actually happen before he starts wasting taxpayer dollars on committees to deal with them.
Gann at 07:45 AM on 05/08/08
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I want some of whatever he's smoking.
Klebert L. Hall at 07:52 AM on 05/08/08
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People really do know what to do, if they aren't idiots.

You see a car crash, you call for help and try to assist. Doesn't matter what the car crashed into.

-Kle.
russdanger at 07:53 AM on 05/08/08
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I imagine that different strategies would have to be developed for cute little wide-eyed Mona-Lisa smiling adorable greys vs. thirty-storey tall deathray-spewing death-tripod driving Psychconian insectiod shock-troops...
Bruce_A at 07:59 AM on 05/08/08
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@russdanger: You know, I think I have had just about enough badmouthing the Psychonians here. Sheesh. Blow up ONE orphanage...
HockeyMountain at 07:59 AM on 05/08/08
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Tom Tancredo vehemently opposes this legislation.

/Colorado Political Humor
ManchuCandidate at 08:02 AM on 05/08/08
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Connectedness Index: 519

"Do you wait for the hazardous materials experts to show up because of potential contaminants from another solar system? What do you do? People really don't know."

They don't know what to do when they see a fender bender on the side of the road. In the interest of removing the denser members of society, I highly recommend rubbing the alien blood all over your body, eating anything that glows and making aggressive threatening gestures to the aliens carrying what might be weapons.
bigswingdaddy at 08:34 AM on 05/08/08
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@ManchuCandidate: Hey that was you watching me on Saturday night!
russdanger at 08:35 AM on 05/08/08
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@Bruce_A:

The literal translation of their language's word for "Human" is "Little screaming things with delicious internal organs"...
fostina1 at 09:06 AM on 05/08/08
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when god's ship does land to take us back to the mother planet, i dont think he is going to be looking for a commission to set things up with. he will just load the space ark up with 2 of everything.
Zantor at 10:31 AM on 05/08/08
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This is exactly what happens to someone when you listen to too many John Denver records.
halloweenjack at 11:10 AM on 05/08/08
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Peckman, 54, who is single and lives with his parents

Great. Way to reinforce stereotypes, dude.
squalor at 11:12 AM on 05/08/08
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@Zantor:
That man shames those of us proud to be Denver-ites. Maybe he's the alien...
Sir Winston Thriller at 11:56 AM on 05/08/08
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I, for one, will not welcome our new, Psychconian insectiod shock-troop overlords.
SigmundTheSeaMonster at 12:30 PM on 05/08/08
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@Gann: Meh. he's not smoking anything. It's the inherent inability to deal with the altitude's lack of O2.
Bruce_A at 05:57 PM on 05/08/08
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@russdanger: Dude, stop! You're making me hungry!

But perhaps I've said too much...
Final at 07:31 AM on 05/09/08
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Weed is decriminalized in Denver County so if you do get what ever he's smoking keep it under an ounce.

@HockeyMountain: Tancedo actually approves the bill but wants it amended to forcefully remove any and all aliens living within the US right now and to build a wall around the Kuiper belt.
Bruce_A at 09:07 AM on 05/09/08
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@Final: Oh I bet the Feds love that. They hate weed so much they raided a medical maryjoe distributor here in LA and totally smashed up his store.
Bruce_A at 12:06 PM on 05/09/08
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@Bruce_A: Err...maryjane, perhaps?