Implantable Wi-Fi network Invented, Dennis Quaid Flies Into Jealous Rage

It's been 21 years since Dennis Quaid pioneered the field of implantable communications technology by sending traveler's dispatches from inside Martin Short's body (and briefly Meg Ryan's too, hubba hubba!) in Innerspace. Now, Dennis, it seems you've been outdone. The UK's Office of Communications has just issued a report describing tests underway on a Bluetooth wireless sensor network that gets implanted inside people's bodies to monitor their vital signs and automatically alert the paramedics in case they collapse or have a heart attack, according to the Times of London.

Now who wouldn't want an ambulance dispatch when they have a heart attack, but automatically summoning the authorities whenever your vitals go haywire? There are plenty of reasons that could happen, and most of them are pretty personal. There's also a proposal on the table to have your pill dispenser automatically alert the hospital when you haven't been taking your meds...

This sounds like privacy clusterf—k waiting to happen, but to their credit the folks at OfCom at least appear aware of the issues:


If the "in-body network" recorded that the person had suddenly collapsed, it would send an alert, via a nearby base station at their home, to a surgery or hospital.

However, Ofcom also gave warning in its report, Tomorrow's Wireless World, that the impact of such technology on personal privacy would require more debate.

Implantable Wi-Fi network Invented, Dennis Quaid Flies Into Jealous Rage

That 'more debate' is definitely going to need some clarification. Still, in principle it's hard to deny the awesomeness of getting Bluetooth installed in your body.

Oh, and before Dennis Quaid goes and loses it completely, we'd better console him — despite their uber-coolness, the sensors cannot replace you, Dennis. Only you have the power, as the pilot of your miniature vehicle designed for intrabody-exploration, to push a button and rearrange Martin Short or indeed any one else's face to look like The Cowboy's (Pictured).

Source: The Times Online via LiveScience

Image: Firstshowing.net