found footage, clips, movies, the phantom planet

Dude, the Drugs on This Planet Are Like . . . Whoa

We've got to do something about this whole "phantom planet thing," or so says a general in the marvelously-titled The Phantom Planet. Made in 1961, immortalized by Mystery Science Theater 3000 and a cheesy band, the flick is filled with drugged-out scenes on a distant planetoid. This is a true classic of proto-psychedelic scifi. After crash-landing on the aforementioned phantom planet, our hero passes out, trips, meets some teeny guys in space scrubs, and gets small, man! Plus there's crazy music! Whoa.

But I couldn't leave you with just that, because you cannot fully grasp the wonder of this movie without a more complete view of Captain Frank's amazing crotchular space outfit. What the hell? Eventually, Frank falls for a tiny local and has to fight a weird monster. On a scale of one to awesome, it's super awesome. [Phantom Planet]

5:42 PM on Mon May 12 2008
By Annalee Newitz
1,591 views
13 comments

Comments

Zantor at 05:58 PM on 05/12/08
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I hate it when that happens.
Zantor at 06:03 PM on 05/12/08
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Woah, good Nibor man...
t3knomanser at 06:58 PM on 05/12/08
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As the years go by, I get more and more convinced that the wisest and the best is to turn our attention to the good and the beautiful.
Bowlactus, Smoker of... at 07:27 PM on 05/12/08
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I gotta find that planet before dave does, or he will so bogart that shit.
seldon452 at 07:31 PM on 05/12/08
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Uniform... Pure... Win...
TheFemGeek at 08:15 PM on 05/12/08
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I went to a friends who was into meditating while stoned and I still have no idea what he gave me but I remember feeling small and I believe the outfit he wore wasn't too far off. Imagine; Mars Volta playing, everything you see begins to move slowly and starts to grow, and you hear this humming in the background (it's him chanting. Yep, if you told me at the time I was on some phantom planet, I would have believed it and probably would have mocked walking on the moon.
Ghede at 09:34 PM on 05/12/08
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A uniform strictly designed to remove all unseemly bulges. Disgusting. That bastard has to chafe like a sonofabitch.

... Is there a rule against mixing vulgar metaphors and vulgar analogies?
acmscott at 09:39 PM on 05/12/08
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I've got the whole movie here if you want to watch it. Scroll down to the "P"s [www.archiveclassicmovies.com]
half-beast at 09:51 PM on 05/12/08
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"Kal and Exeter wake and bake every day. WOOOOOO!"
Annalee Newitz at 11:36 PM on 05/12/08
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Connectedness Index: 344

@Ghede: Also, that zippy pouch. WTF?
tamoko at 06:07 AM on 05/13/08
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Connectedness Index: 456

not just crotchular, but crotchtacular!!
Ma1agate at 06:19 AM on 05/13/08
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Mostly unrelated, but Big Brat, by none other than Phantom Planet(!), is a terribly addictive song.
Jeff-Minor at 06:33 AM on 05/13/08
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Crotchtastic! "Floating space monsters?" This guy must have watched too much Star Trek when he was a kid. What a nutty idea!