What happens when superheroes retire? Italian cartoonist Donald Soffritti knows best, because he draws them—in humorous, imaginative, and fantasy-wrecking detail—at their worst. For example, Wonder Woman has traded in her Amazonian hotness and superpowers for a cigarette, a chihuahua, and a lot of extra layers of fat. Sad. Keep reading to find out what happens to Superman and Spider-Man.

Superman's fate is not that different from Wonder Woman's. In addition to being an overweight smoker, though, he also doesn't leave home without his tequila shot.

Spider-Man doesn't gain much weight. Instead, he loses a lot of muscle mass, loses control of his bladder, and becomes one of those obnoxious perpetual hospital patients that walks around screwing up his IV. Images by Donald Soffritti

Donald Soffritti main page via NotCot

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