I think we can all agree that Stanley Kubrick's mindbending space opera 2001 is a classic, even if we're a little divided on whether it's a masterpiece. Not so with 2010, the 1984 sequel (also based on an Arthur C. Clarke novel) featuring Roy Scheider as the man with a plan and Helen Mirren (Helen!) as the captain of a Soviet ship sent to find the giant monolith among the Jovian moons that the Discovery ship found at the end of 2001. Most of 2010 is literally just a "let's revisit 2001 but with TV movie production values and a bad voiceover from Scheider" deal.

There's the cool monolith, there's the scary reboot of HAL, and there's tension between the Russian and U.S. crews as the two countries inch towards war in Honduras. But then, just as war is declared, a whole bunch of monoliths start making Jupiter collapse (ooohhh, special effects budget in full effect!). So the two crews run away from the esploding Jupiter as fast as they can and . . . well, this happens. Check out the clip. I have literally never seen a more asstacular ending in my life. Are those words literally floating in the sky? Ohh, and the cheesy voiceover. So wonderfully awful! Plus the last line — "I think we will be friends." Really? Not if the aliens watch this movie, we won't. [2010 via IMDB]