The World Will End In Lameness, In Emmerich's 2012

Roland Emmerich's 2012 will combine themes from Deep Impact, The Bible and The Day After Tomorrow to bring you one regrettable ticket purchase. Latino Review got their hands on the first spec script for Roland Emmerich's Mayan Apocalypse movie 2012. The big bad in this epic film is an ancient Mayan calendar that predicts the end of the world in 2012. Supposedly on that date the world will freak out Day After Tomorrow-style and end humanity, but it's pretty much the same crappy weather movie Emmerich made before, but with one totally insane twist.

The characters escape mother nature's wrath in an old testament style ark, seriously, like Noah. Shouldn't Emmerich know that if it didn't work for Evan Almighty it won't work anywhere else? This could easily be the worst thing I've ever heard.

The movie starts off in 2009 set in a "scientific lab" in India. Scientists discover that the storms on the sun are beginning to affect the Earth. They contact the White House but of course, no one hears the message.

Skip to 2010, and now everyone knows that the scientific mega-shit is about to hit the fan for Earth. The world's "top scientists" are meeting to figure out a way out of their imminent doom. Some countries start building massive dams, and the rest of the world busies itself by stowing away priceless artifacts in secret storage facilities.

FINALLY we get to 2012 the West is plagued with more earthquakes than it's seen before. Now we meet John Cusack's character, divorced limo driver Jackson Curtis, who has two kids and seems pretty unaware that the world is about to throw up around him. Soon the destruction starts and we learn that the government has created secret Noah's Ark-like ships to weather the apocalyptic storm. On the ships are rich people, government officials and people related to important people. Everyone else left on Earth can just die. Everything starts going to hell with more fires, tsunamis, dust storms and earthquakes. Yellowstone turns into a volcano. Curtis bands up with his kids and finds out the information about these reclusive and ridiculous arks and makes an attempt to put his family aboard one of them. [Latino Review]