More New Joker-Isms From The Dark Knight

A three-day weekend means an extra huge batch of spoilers - including a plot synopsis of the new animated Star Wars movie. There's also some new info on the Dark Knight, including new videos and new Joker-isms. The X-Files 2 soundtrack listing hints at some plot points, plus there's a new detail about G.I. Joe and some new Dragonball pics. We learned a crucial detail about the new Battlestar Galactica TV movie, grabbed some spoilery Heroes promos, gleaned a ton of Stargate facts, and found out what to expect from Doctor Who and Smallville. Spoilers are life!

The Dark Knight:

The Hollywood Reporter review of The Dark Knight explains some plot points. The Hong Kong sequence in the movie isn't just about Batman tracking down the mob's bag-man, Lau. Sal Maroni (Eric Roberts) also takes refuge with a Hong Kong gangster, with Batman on his heels. But when Batman takes the Triad gangster down, Maroni flees back to Gotham and turns to his last hope: the psychopathic Joker. And yes, the Joker's aim is to bring the Batman over to the side of chaos. [Hollywood Reporter]

Plus some new TV spots include even more Joker-isms: "Never start with the head. The victim gets all fuzzy." "I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you?" "I'm a guy of simple taste. I enjoy dynamite, gunpowder, and gasoline!" Plus Bruce Wayne kicking much ass without wearing the mask.

Star Wars: Clone Wars:

Star Wars fansite TheForce.net has posted a complete synopsis for the Clone Wars movie, which opens August 15 and is also the first three episodes of the new animated TV series. Here's a quick summary:

Obi-Wan and Anakin are fighting the droid army on the planet Christophsis, when Yoda sends them a new Padawan: Ahsoka Tano. At first, they think she's Obi-Wan's new student, but it turns out she's Anakin's instead. She tells them to return to the Jedi temple at once, but first they have to take out the droid army. Anakin and Ahsoka smash the droids' shield generator, while Obi-Wan and Captain Rex fight the spider droids of general Whorm Loathsom. (Yes, that's really his name.) Obi-Wan pretends to surrender, but tricks Loathsom and takes him prisoner, just as Anakin and Ahsoka complete their mission.

Then Yoda turns up and tells them Jabba the Hutt's son Rotta has been kidnapped. Anakin and Ahsoka have to travel to the planet Teth to lead the rescue mission, while Obi-Wan meets with Jabba on Tatooine. Jabba tells Obi-Wan he wants his "punky muffin" back. (No, really. Punky muffin.) And Anakin and Ahsoka discover separatist battle-droids behind the muffin's kidnapping. The Jedi duo have to scale a vertical cliff, with AT-TEs, fighting the droids all the way. They head to the dungeon to rescue Rotta, but the evil Asajj Ventress is waiting for them. She tells Count Dooku everything is going according to plan, and then she asks Anakin if he knows he's walking into a trap. He's like, duh, yeah.

In spite of that, they find Rotta, leading to a "comedy scene" involving a wet baby Hutt. But Rotta is ill, and he'll die without urgent help.

Meanwhile, Dooku visits Jabba and shows him footage of Anakin and Ahsoka putting a sobbing, sick baby Hutt into a backpack. The video is edited to make it look as though the Jedi kidnapped the punky muffin in the first place. Dooku offers to get the kid back, in exchange for an alliance with Jabba. But Anakin and Obi-Wan have figured out Dooku's plan, and they decide to get Rotta back to Jabba before he dies on them. Too bad "vulture droids" have destroyed Anakin's ship, and battle droids are attacking.

They flee, but Asajj Ventress blocks their escape, first by pretending to be Captain Rex (?) and then by attacking them. Anakin and Asajj fight, and then R2D2 sends them all falling through a hole in the floor. They fight and fight and fight. Meanwhile, Ahsoka tries to get Rotta out of there, but finds herself facing a rancor... which eventually collapses on top of Asajj after being hit with lightsabers and lasers. Rotta throws up and nearly hits Anakin, hilarity ensues.

Then our heroes almost get away, but the vulture droids destroy their spaceship... again. Finally, Obi-Wan shows up with a Star Destroyer, and the ever-sicker Rotta points to a hidden ship on a mountain top: the Twilight. Anakin grabs a a sort of flying insect thingy and flies down to the others. Asajj attacks again, but has to flee when the landing pad collapses. So our heroes finally get away. Rotta burps. More fighting with battle droids.

Finally, Asajj decides to grab Rotta and return him to Jabba herself, to win him over to the Separatist cause. Obi-Wan shows up, and they fight.

Finally, Anakin and Ahsoka get to the Twilight and take off. But Obi-Wan's Star Destroyer thinks they're another enemy ship, and there's a wacky misunderstanding. And then then the Star Destroyer is damaged when a Separatist fighter crashes into its hangar bay. So they have to fly Rotta home aboard the Twilight.

Asajj contacts Jabba and tells him Rotta is dead, and the Jedi are heading to Tatooine to attack him. Dooku promises to take care of those Jedi for Jabba. When the Twilight arrives at Tatooine, some droids attack. The ship is damaged, and crash lands, so the heroes have to walk to Jabba's castle. Meanwhile, Padmé Amidala meets with Jabba's uncle Ziro and tries to convince him the Jedi are on the level. No luck, but then she spies on him meeting with Dooku. She's hauled off to Jabba's dungeon.

Dooku and Anakin fight, while more droids attack Ahsoka, who's carrying the punky muffin. Anakin steals Dooku's hover-bike and runs off to rescue Ahsoka. Jabba is about to execute Padmé, when clone troopers show up and rescue her. And take Ziro prisoner.

Anakin confronts Jabba and holds his light saber to Jabba's throat. Then Ahsoka runs in with the punky muffin. Jabba's delighted... but still wants the Jedi killed. They fight Jabba's guards, until the captive Uncle Ziro calls and admits he was involved in the kidnapping. Jabba finally agrees to an alliance with the Republic. Anakin and Padmé have a moment. Dooku says curses, etc.

Much, much more insanely detailed spoilers at the link. [TheForce.net]

X-Files: I Want To Believe:

Here's the tracklisting for the soundtrack to the new X-Files sequel, which may reveal some juicy plot twists:

1. Moonrise

2. No Cures/Looking For Fox

3. The Trip to DC

4. Father Joe

5. What If You're Wrong/Sister

6. Ybara The Strange/Waterboard

7. Can't Sleep/Ice Field

8. March and Dig/Girl In The Box

9. A Higher Conscious

10. The Surgery

11. Good Luck

12. Seizure/Attempted Escape

13. Foot Chase

14. Mountain Montage/The Plow

15. Photo Evidence

16. The Preparation

17. Tranquilized

18. The Axe Post

19. Box Them

20. Home Again [Shock Till You Drop]

G.I. Joe:

There may actually be two versions of Destro, the masked villain, in the G.I. Joe movie. David Murray, who was originally slated to play the present-day Destro but had to bail out due to visa issues, will still play Destro's ancestor, who also wore the menacing mask. And Christopher Eccleston, of course, will play the present-day Destro. [IESB]

Dragonball:

Here are some new Dragonball pics that appeared in Japan's Jump SQ magazine. [DBTheMovie]

More New Joker-Isms From The Dark Knight

More New Joker-Isms From The Dark Knight

More New Joker-Isms From The Dark Knight

More New Joker-Isms From The Dark Knight

Heroes:

More hints that serial killer Sylar is turning good on superhero soap opera Heroes. Also, another suggestion that slack-jawed polymath Peter Petrelli may be turning evil - and it looks like he gets a wicked slash across his forehead. [E! Online]

And here are two new promos that show Sylar in restraints and Knox busting out of his cell. Level 5 is the only place that can hold the baddies... until it doesn't any more. Also, Sylar says: "Hello, Claire."

Battlestar Galactica:

Here's a video from the BSG wrap party that supposedly includes some spoilers for the second half of season four. There seems to be some shots of people running around in a field, maybe on Earth. (Or it could be Kobol, from the filming of season two?) I honestly can't make out a word anybody is saying. Can anyone out there lip read? [Galactia Sitrep]

The Galactica TV movie, to be shot this September, will be set during season one, says Aaron Douglas, who's probably going to be in it. [Livejournal via Galactica Sitrep]

Doctor Who:

Is it really a spoiler to say that David Tennant will play the Doctor in the Christmas special and the 2009 specials? Well, he will. [Daily Express]

Stargate:

More details about the direct-to-DVD movie Stargate Continuum, coming out July 29: the SG-1 crew are attending the execution of the last System Lord, Ba'al, but then they're suddenly transported back to Earth in an alternate timeline, without Vala or Teal'c. A fleet of Goa'uld motherships soon shows up, led by none other than Ba'al, Queen Qetesh and First Prime Teal'c. (Vala only shows up at the beginning and end of the DVD, but we see lots of her Goa'uld counterpart Qetesh.)

In this alternate timeline, Ba'al managed to take over the System Lords by promising Teal'c to free the Jaffa. The only System Lord who still resists Ba'al is Apophis, who's killed by having the top of his head sliced off. Some Goa'uld who are dead in the regular timeline turn up, including Ra, Camulus, Lord Hu, Nirrti and Kronos. The late Don Davis turns up as Gen. Hammond. So does Brigadier General Jack O'Neill, but he dies early on. (But then we see Jack's alternate self later.) Some nice moments include a meeting with General Landry, a Daniel calling his alternate self, and some cool shots of the nuclear sub and F-15s. Also, the look on Ba'al's face, going from happy to shocked, when Mitchell shoots him in the head. [TFW 2005 forum]

Stargate Atlantis' new leader, Richard Woolsey, is an abrasive, by-the-book bureaucrat. He has trouble with the city's technology at first, and can barely open the doors. By the second episode, he's already broken protocol five times during his first crisis, and has to recognize that the rulebook doesn't always apply. [Sci Fi Wire]

A minor Stargate Atlantis spoiler: Renegade leader Larrin (Jill Wagner) may return to the Stargate SG-1 spin-off... but not until season six in 2009. [SliceofScifi]

In the third episode of the new season, "Broken Ties," Ronon comes under the spell of the Wraith and the team meet an old adversary in the process of rescuing him. In the fourth episode, "The Daedalus Variations," the team finds a ship's log of a captain of the Daedalus, who abandoned ship. He's not someone the team recognizes, so they investigate. And in "Ghost In The Machine," the Replicators try to take over Atlantis when they find a way to ascend. Weir is with them. [SpoilerTV]

Smallville:

In the first episode of Smallville season eight, we'll see an unshaven Clark, since months have elapsed since the previous episode. Also, in the second episode, we will indeed meet the explosive Quebec separatist Plastique. In this version, she's a 15-year-old street kid, who's injured in an explosion, and then Chloe invites Plastique to move in with her. (Chloe's already out of the stir by this time.) [Kryptonsite]