Mailmen Have Unrealistically Hot Girlfriends, In Heroes Webisodes

In what alternate reality does a postal worker get to come home to a sexy Latina in Victoria's Secret undies? That's just one of the pressing questions raised by the second Heroes webisode, "Unexpected Guest."

There's also

more horrendous acting from The Constrictor, raising the question of just where the Company gets its second-tier hench-monsters. It seems that the creepy bald villain has taken a liking to the mailman's half naked lady as well. Click through for the recap.

Mailmen Have Unrealistically Hot Girlfriends, In Heroes WebisodesS

Mailman runs home to his pretty nice house and is greeted by his far more attractive spouse. How is this possible? Women like this don't sleep with guys like him, especially in LA (where I think this takes place). What's the angle — free stamps? Either way, she's been waiting all day for sex and pounces on the postman like a spry little thing. But then Mailman totally ruins the mood by telling her he killed someone with his yelling super power. What a wuss. If he was a real superhero, that would have just put him more in the mood...or something.

Mailmen Have Unrealistically Hot Girlfriends, In Heroes WebisodesS

Then she goes off to get dressed. And the mailman realizes the door is open! So he picks up that electric guitar that everyone had in high school as a weapon. Is this symbolic? Did Mailman once have a career as a rock god but his dreams were dashed after his scream-singing killed an audience? Oh, I hope the next chapter is a flashback with Mailman fronting a band clad in leather. Constrictor can be the bassist.

Mailmen Have Unrealistically Hot Girlfriends, In Heroes WebisodesS

But back to the show. Mailman's suspicions are right: the Constrictor is in the house and is hugging his girlfriend (now fully clothed) to death. And ugh gross, he's rubbing his disgusting bald head all over her face and purring.

Mailmen Have Unrealistically Hot Girlfriends, In Heroes WebisodesS

Thankfully the postal worker yells some more, and then yells really close to the very pale villain's head — and splat: poorly acted character brains all over the wall! But oh no, his girlfriend saw the whole thing go down, and will probably judge him or something. But no time for debate: there's a knock at the door.

[NBC]