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Six Office Supply Fetishes of the Future

Twenty-five years from now, your lust for office supplies will not have diminished. By then you'll be jonesing for the Macbook File Folder (pictured) and DNA-sequencing fountain pens. We've cranked up our brain implants to eleven and looked deep into the future to figure out which items will be must-haves in offices all over the world in the year 2033. We begin with the Macbook File Folder, above, which comes in a variety of colors and can be stored by the dozens in your ultra-light titanium foam filing cabinets. And we've got five more futuristic office supplies that will make your future selves start panting with an unrequited desire for organizational tools.

In 25 years, paper will have become an exotic luxury item — the kind of thing that executives keep in antique wooden treasure chests on their desks. Here's our favorite: The RealWood RealPaper Holder. When someone very important is taking a meeting with you, you might offer them a piece of paper to write on. Think of it as the same kind of ritual that cigar-smoking used to be in old-school executive meetings. Before you use the paper offered to you, however, you'll want to run it through your fingers and sniff it appreciatively.

To write on your luxury paper, you'll want this gorgeous Liquid Microarray Fountain Pen with built-in DNA analyzer. Worried that you may have contracted the latest flu virus? Just prick your finger, feed it into the pen, and ten minutes later it will tell you what virus you have and which pharmaceutical company owns the patent on a drug that can kill it. Luckily, you can just order up that antiviral right from your pocket. Oh yes, that's because you have the Pocket Organizer (TM) from Sony.

This Pocket Organizer is literally a pocket — think of it as a kind of pocket protector that fits snugly into your already existing pocket. It comes complete with a Twiddler-style keyboard, hard drive, dual processor, and ultraBlueTooth that relays information to the heads-up monitor in your glasses. Check your messages as quickly as you please, with just a hand inserted casually into your pocket, and nobody will ever know you're arranging a hot date instead of paying attention to what they're saying about Western metaphysics.

Since paper has become so expensive, all books are read electronically. But that doesn't mean you can't have beautiful, leather bound books that feel good in your hands. This sweet, E-LeatherBook ebook reader is the latest thing, and it comes complete with a "bookmark" that automatically holds your place in the file when you wave it over the screen. Of course, all the leather is pure vat-grown. No animals are harmed in the making of this beautiful item.

And finally, the perfect thing for a student or busy consultant on the go. The backpack nano-assembler that turns almost instantly into a sturdy, rolltop desk. The NanoPack RollTop is easily cared-for and fully washable. Just type in the code, and it will spit out or digest your desk in under 60 seconds or your money back. Do not store any items in this backpack when not in use. Do not place hands inside backpack.

With the future full of office supplies like this, I predict we will all be 45% more productive and efficient by the time aliens land here to teach us about faster-than-light travel. In fact, the aliens will probably decide to contact us entirely based on how awesome our office supplies have become.

Amazing image spiffing by Stephanie Fox!

All images stock and public domain except the treasure chest (sans paper) via koolmini.com, the photos of Macbook Air pieces were via Umair Abbasi, and the Agilent liquid microarray via Roswell Park Cancer Institute.


Send an email to Annalee Newitz, the author of this post, at annalee@io9.com.


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