Sep 18, 2008 07:30 AM
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San Francisco, 2:17 PM
Tue Feb 9
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The brand new NBC reboot of Knight Rider aired on Hulu yesterday (it will air on broadcast TV Sept. 24), and not even undressing most of the cast could create an hour of watchable television. I can forgive the fact that it looks cheap and the plot line is tired. But overall the new Knight Rider is so shockingly awful I was almost laughing, but then they tried to mess with my Billy from BSG and things got personal. Spoilers and ridiculous video clips ahead!
Mike Tracer (Justin Bruening) and Sarah Graiman (Deanna Russo), daughter of white haired doctor (Bruce Davison), are in fancy dress clothes acting like spies. Then they're injected with green tempera paint and drive off in KITT only to be hit by a missile that engulfs the car in fire. So the only obvious thing to do is to take off all their clothes. It's amazing that two relatively attractive 20-somethings could get half naked and still look awful.
Then attention is drawn to Mike's "mysterious past" and his military tattoo. Young Mike has no recollection of when he was "IN IRAQ," and all caps is exactly how everyone pronounces that phrase. Mike has missing gaps in his memory and blankly stares out for most of the episode whether he's trying to remember the missing holes in his life or not. He even doesn't remember "sexy latino lady," who has possibly one of the most ridiculous entrances I've ever seen. Observe:
We leave with a lot of uninteresting questions about Mike's past. What was he up to while he was "IN IRAQ," what happened to his memories, how is his boss involved, will he and Sarah ever end up together, and what is the voice of KITT saying when he gets excited (I still can't understand Val Kilmer half of the time). But honestly you're not made to care enough to tune in next week. All of the characters are shallow and the play-by-his-own-rules hero with a mysterious past story has been done before.
Still I will never, ever forgive this show for what it did to my sweet Billy form Battlestar Galactica. Paul Campbell (who is actually named Billy on Knight Rider as well) plays a whiny fainting tech guy whose back and forth banter with "hot Asian chick" sounds like it was written by the bastard children of the Batman and Robin script school. Yes, it's that bad. I didn't think anyone could make me dislike Billy, but congratulations Rider, after Billy fake threw up because he was so grossed out, you did. So screw you NBC, I loved Billy.
Also available for your viewing pleasure at Jalopnik.
Send an email to Meredith, the author of this post, at meredith@io9.com.
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