Amanda Tapping is so ubiquitous in the Stargate universe that it took at least the better part of the Sanctuary webisodes to even partially erase the character of Samantha Carter from our minds. Of course, there's one place where the raging sexual tension of Stargate SG-1 is relived again and again: The wonderful world of fan-fiction, where Carter and Richard Dean Anderson's Colonel Jack O'Neill can enjoy major holidays with one another, and Teal'C is only introduced into the bedroom scenes when it's really warranted. We sample the finest in imaginary encounters with Amanda Tapping.Unlike Anne Rice and Annie Proulx, we believe fan-fiction provides an important service - to make us a little turned on and a lot grossed out whenever a random episode of SG-1 flicks on in syndication. Amanda Tapping apparently agrees, as she features a swath of fan fiction on her official site, along with the usual spate of images of the English-born actress wrapped nude in an American flag (Hey, it's election season).
And if there's one constant of the Stargate fanfiction, it's that Richard Dean Anderson is a kind and gentle soul, and intimacy with the captain of the Stargate team is varied, mysterious, and above-all, consensual:
Straightforward sex had come some time later-hot, feverish, explosive-when the feel of their bodies touching as they rested had proven too tempting to resist. ... Her lover had traced the scar delicately and looked down at her, an apology shining in his eyes. Don't you dare…don't dare blame yourself, she'd thought, but when she'd opened her mouth to protest, he'd kissed the words from her lips. He'd pulled her close, murmuring a soft "I'm sorry" against her ear and she'd felt something break inside. His apology hadn't been for the scar alone but for everything-nearly missed rescues, time lost, wasted opportunities, anguish, regret, worry, want and need.Such a sweet intro, and yet the sex that follows is shocking in its brutality.
Whoa, just kidding - Jack O'Neill proves to be a measured and attentive lover. I mean, what were you expecting?
With one last glance in the rear view mirror, she drove off telling herself that if he could kill a goa'uld singlehandedly, he could navigate Colorado Springs on his own.Snap! Then there's the joy of seeing your favorite characters from SG-1 celebrating the holidays with one another.
Sam, flushed but ever pragmatic, lightly pushed him back and announced, "Jack, I think the turkey's done. Go turn off the timer." God, what a Thanksgiving!Exactly.
Now that Tapping will be part brunette, part blonde, we're hoping she does us the courtesy of opening up a brunette-only fanfiction forum on her site. Still, even fan-created content can go too far - We humbly suggest that the official Amanda Tapping website shut down the sick person behind this little gem:
Because Jack understood that a cookie is a cookie is a cookie, even when sober.