If you thought that True Blood might get tired of peen and sex talk, then you think again. This week, sadness is sexy as the characters mourn the best way they know how: by getting naked and humping one another. Also, learn the not-so-subtle connection between sexual stimulation and vampire fangs. Who needs porn when you're got soft core vamp porn series True Blood? (slightly NSFW thanks Anna Paquin)Poor gran is dead (I feel bad this week about her death as she's gone and made a bloody mess all over the kitchen, which was a genuinely sad scene when Sookie had to clean it up). Bill and Sam finally get into a pissing contest over Sookie. Tara and Sam have sex again, and Jason pisses off Sookie something terrible by allowing Uncle Bartlett into her grandma's funeral. I'm wagering a guess that this creepy old dude done Sookie wrong in a gross sexual way, that we will all be forced to watch in the next episode. Tara and Lafayette are the only actual human beings on this show and demonstrate humanity by actually taking care of Sookie, like good people do. Besides that, hooray, because Bill and Sookie finally get it on and Bill acts like some strange vampire virgin, I can not wait for the big vamp scar she'll have to walk around with next week. Pro: Sam is 5,000 times more attractive in this episode, methinks it's some new hair products or the fact that he's acting like a human being. Pro: Grandma's last pie is pecan pie — well done, and yes, I too would have freaked the hell out if some fat lady was manhandling my grandma's last pie. Pro: Collie and Bill share a moment, seconds away from the buddy vamp/collie TV series I'm dreaming of. Pro: Fat lady singing at a funeral. I've been to too many services just like that. They should have given her a sister that sang harmony though. Pro: I kind of buy Tara's ridiculous alcoholic mother this week. Maybe it's the hat, or her demon inside of her. Either way that's a great excuse for a disease and they're both super pathetic. This show is so ridiculous — her having a demon inside of her is by far the most palatable plot change. Pro: When vampires get excited their teeth come out and Bill's all shy like it's the first time. Con: Gross close up of licking the blood — it's like coitus for him, I GET IT. Con: All the ridiculous goings-on at the funeral. Usually the guests just sit there and try and get through it. I never understood why people on TV always gather around to have serious conversations. Can't we talk about this in the car? Oh and Sam's shirt with his jacket is all sorts of tragic. Con: Casserole Cam. Con: White Nightie — what girl her age has that ridiculously contrived white nightie? You know she wears tiny booty shorts and tank tops to bed. Massive deduction for the negligee's existence merely for the sake of this scene. Update: Ok fine, Anna Paquin topless, small Pro though I didn't think it needed to be mentioned as it was oh so quick and strange.
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