Things heated up and came together in last night's Heroes, just like when you put a bunch of peeps in the microwave and they swell up really big and kind of merge into a sugary, hardened blob. A blob that tastes really good. Our patience was rewarded last night: Disparate plot lines met in intriguing ways, and a conspiracy was revealed. And while there wasn't that feeling of character abundance fatigue from last week, this week's "Dying of the Light" was still packed with just one too many subplots. We'll go over those subplots for you, and give you a chance to vote for which one you'd eliminate. Spoilers ahead, my monsters. What you realize when you break the show down into subplots is that there are actually subplots of subplots, such as Adam getting resurrected. Adam isn't really his own subplot — he's just a minor part of the Hiro vs. Ando subplot, making him a subsubplot. But then he later becomes part of the Papa Arthur Petrelli subplot, thus making him a cross-subplot subsubplot. Now that that's been cleared up, let's examine our subplots in detail. Hiro vs. Ando Subplot So far this season, the H vs. A subplot has been a lot of bromantic bickering and running around trying to be heroic. Last night, Hiro faked Ando's death to join Speedy Daphne's cadre of elite murdering freaks who work for Pinhearst. There is much talk about "being a badass," which is supposed to be funny because Hiro says "badass" in a Japanese accent. Daphne sends Hiro and Ando to Africa to recruit the precog painter who helped Parkman, and there are wacky precog hijinks involving time travel and shovels. At some point, Hiro says, "Hello Mr. African Isaku." Ultimately, Hiro and Ando get Mr. African Isaku to show them a painting of "the villains" they seek, and continue on their merry, bickering way. Does anybody care what's going to happen to Hiro and Ando next? Speedy and the Gang Subplot This subplot was mostly resolved last night, because we now know that it wasn't actually Linderman who was appearing to Speedy Daphne and Nathan Petrelli. It was Papa Parkman, mind-controller, who was carrying out Papa Arthur Petrelli's schemes. In this episode, Linderman pretty much stops appearing and Speedy realizes that Pinehearst is an evil company that only wants to recruit murdering freaks. She tries half-heartedly to flee, but Linderman threatens her vaguely. We still aren't sure what Pinehearst has over her, but she caves into the vagueness and continues to recruit people. We know she's basically a moral gray area girl because when she tries to recruit Suresh, she sees his lab full of webbed-up dead bodies and basically shrugs it off, saying, "Great — you're just as bad as the rest of them." Then she speeds off, leaving a Pinehearst card in his webby hands. What is Speedy's connection to Pinehearst?
Parkman's Alternate Future with Speedy Subplot Parkman had a prophetic dream of marrying Speedy after her hair is no longer punky blond, having a baby with her, and then watching her die after doing some kind of bomb thing for Pinehearst. Last night, he returned from Africa with a turtle (did he use mind control to make it over the border with a live animal?) to find his future love. Lucky for him, Papas Petrelli and Parkman want Speedy to recruit Parkman, and so she shows up at the airport to meet him. He's all excited and starts babbling about how "we're soul mates! I came here looking for you and you were here waiting for me!" Her reply? "This is getting kind of stalky." Poor Parkman. Though Parkman promises that he can protect her from Pinehearst, somehow Speedy doesn't believe him. So she's gone back to work (after admitting Parkman is "a sweet guy"), and he's gone off to mope. Will they find love? Can Parkman prevent Speedy's doom?
Papa Arthur Petrelli and the Pinehearst Conspiracy Subplot A semi-telepathic dude on a respirator last week, Papa Arthur Petrelli came into his own this week. We discovered that he has a Sylar/Peter-esque power — he can suck people's powers out with soul-eating vampire panache. He sucks up Adam's power, leaving the immortal a pile of dust and allowing Arthur to leap out of bed and into action. He's got Speedy and the Gang following his orders, and at the end of the episode Peter comes to see him too. Of course, he's stupid enough to fall for the old "give you old man a hug" routine and gets his powers sucked out too. What is Papa Petrelli's plan? Please say it somehow involves Jackie Brown. Peter Goes Bad and Sylar Goes Good Subplot Now that we know Peter and Sylar are brothers, and they've swallowed each other's powers in some kind of weird-ass time-travel way, they're sort of like a buddy movie gone wrong. Last night, Speedy tried to recruit Sylar to Pinehearst and bust him out of Level 5, but he stayed because, as he says, "I'm not a killer anymore." He's trying so hard to go goody two-shoes that he drags Peter out of the coma machine to help rescue their mother. They argue over whether Peter can learn to suppress his monstery, eat-brains side that he got from Sylar's power. It's obvious that Peter is still in the monster place, but he does help Sylar by reading their comatose mother's mind, where he finds the Pinehearst symbol (incidentally the same symbol that Future Hiro had on his sword). Then he and Sylar fight again, and Peter yells, "I'm the most special" before hooking Sylar up to the coma machine. Hellish sibling rivalry. So now Sylar is in a coma, Peter is powerless in his father's lair, and Mama Petrelli is comatose too. Those Petrellis and their comas!
Claire and Her Two Mommies Subplot Claire is freaked out because Daddy HRG hooked up with Sylar, and then forced Void-Making dude to kill himself rather than deliberately suck Sylar into a void. So she's spending all her time with her two mommies: The dog-loving, PTA mom who raised her, and Meredith the fire-brandishing lady who bore her. When Meredith is captured by Puppet-master dude who controls body movements, Claire and PTA Mom go on a rescue mission. Things get squicky when they are all three caught, and Puppet-master forces them to play Russian Roulette on each other. Luckily, PTA mom shoots Claire, and when Puppet-master loosens his hold on the "dead" Claire, she's able to rally and punch him out. Both moms are freed, and everybody has a new appreciation for how great they are. When HRG arrives, he's very impressed with Claire's bad-guy-hunting abilities, but she still just wants to hang out with her two mommies. Are we going to see Claire turn bad like Future Claire?
Suresh's Web Subplot Nathan Petrelli and Tracy come to Suresh looking for answers. They tell him about how they were given their powers by Zimmerman, and confirm Suresh's theory that powers manifest during times of emotional duress. Then he pretends he'll help them, but instead gives them knockout drugs and straps them down in his webby chamber of dead people. Luckily, Tracy is on the ball. She freezes him! But before she and Nathan get away, Suresh recovers and blocks their way. He's become a total evil creep! What is the deal with Suresh, and why has he gone from annoying voice over guy to homicidal insect? He's still doing those incoherent voice overs. Will he stop? What exactly is he doing with those webbed-up people? OK, you've got the subplots. Now it's time to choose which one you want to eliminate.