The Best Gay Wizard Action in the Potterverse

When Harry Potter author JK Rowling announced that venerable wizard Albus Dumbledore was gay, nobody was more shocked than the fans. But now they're writing stories about Albus going where the novels never permitted.

In the maelstrom of fannish squee that is the social network LiveJournal, there lurk thousands of Harry Potter fans who have taken Rowling's novels into their own hands. They write fan fiction, or fanfic, about everything from Harry's first kiss to that time Snape got busy with Draco in the potions closet. Yeah, most of these stories are about relationships, sometimes sexual and sometimes just romantic.

A longtime tradition among fanfic writers holds that a story about two characters having gay sex is called "slash." Possibly this began with the Kirk/Spock stories of the 1970s, but perhaps it began earlier in the misty fandom days of yore. Usually slash fic isn't "canon," which is to say it diverges from the novels or series the fans are writing about. If only because the characters aren't gay in the universe of the original story.

That's what made Rowling's announcement about Dumbledore so weird. Suddenly, there was canon slash, if you consider the Dumbledore/Grindelwald pairing. But a lot of fans thought the idea of writing about Dumbledore was more squick than squee. As LJ member alexis_sd wrote recently:

Sex and Dumbledore just don't mix well for me. I'd rather see him as an asexual meddlesome old man or my brain might explode.

And over on fanfic haven FictionCentral.net, a conversation thread devoted to the idea of Dumbledore/Riddle slash was greeted with a lot of skepticism and "yuck."

For other fans, however, Rowlings' outing of the meddlesome old man was a challenge. Could they make him sexy? Who would he have sex with? Obviously his boyhood friend Gellert Grindelwald, with whom he was once obsessed. Later, Grindelwald became evil but for one magic summer he and Albus shared everything - and now we know that "everything" isn't just slash. It's canon.

Other hookups that fans have imagined for Dumbledore include broody potions instructor Severus Snape, the ubiquitous Harry Potter (he's done everyone in fanficdom by now), and even the mega-evil Tom Riddle, who later became Voldemort.

With the help of ravenna_c_tan, along with several other slash experts on LJ, we've put together a starter kit of Dumbledore slashfic for you. Things are about to get a little NSFW, so hold on to your wands!

Flash and Circle
By: Ibycus
What: Dumbledore/Grindelwald/Riddle
Sample quote:

Albus stands frozen in the doorway, watching the pair of them. If either one has heard him, they give no sign. Gellert is standing just behind the boy. He seems to have forgotten that he is not alone: he gazes into the fire. Absently, he runs his fingers through the boy’s hair. The boy shivers, and Albus can see his intertwined fingers clench hard, just for a moment, before he relaxes.

Gellert leans over the boy, whispers something in his ear that makes the boy whimper and wriggle, and Gellert laughs softly. His laugh is a rich, warm chuckle, and as always it makes Albus’s skin prickle. He watches as Gellert curls around the boy, stroking his chest – the boy gives a stifled gasp when Gellert’s clever fingers twist and pinch – and kissing his face.

At last Gellert rises, his robes brushing against the boy’s bare shoulder, the curve of his back, and turns to look at Albus.

“Look,” he says, and holds out his hand. “Albus, look. I’ve found us a toy.”

Limbo
By: Titti
What: Dumbledore/Snape
Sample quote:

You look at him questioningly, hoping that he'll volunteer something, because you've learned through the years, that no amount of prodding will overcome this particular tone, the one reserved for fumbling first years (and reckless lovers, Severus likes to add). "As you wish," you finally say, but he only snorts in response.

You lie next to him, and you begin to explore his body with meticulous precision. Your time with him is so precious that you don't wish to miss any detail.

He looks at you with a mixture of lust and curiosity, and you still don't understand, but then a jolt of… something… you can't even describe the sensation of lust, desire and pain that gushes through your fibres.

He brushes your hair. "It's the potion," he says calmly. "Don't fight it, and you'll feel fine soon enough."

You should be upset, but this is Severus, your own scheming snake, and you trust him not to hurt you.

"This should make it easier." His lips are on yours before you can ask what will make it easier.

Your kisses are normally languid preludes to nights spent together, but tonight nothing is as it should be. Another jolt assaults you, and the taste of his lips isn't enough.

You push him onto his back, pinning him to the mattress with raw magic as your tongue thrusts inside his mouth. You expect him to summon his wand, to defend himself from this unauthorised use of magic. Instead, he lies there, legs spreading to give you more room.

For Blood and Wine Are Red
By: Penknife
What: Dumbledore/Grindelwald
Sample quote:

The scones were burnt. It suddenly seemed intolerable; no matter what he did, the house seemed to be full of shabby, dirty, ruined things. Gellert toyed with his scones, giving Albus ambiguous glances over his teacup. Aberforth munched in silence, and Bathilda told a long story about the problems she'd been having with her drains.

"We really should be going," Bathilda said after what seemed like an eternity. "It's a pity we couldn't see poor Ariana."

"I'm sure she'll be desolated to have missed you," Albus said. "But she's been terribly weak today, and I didn't want to ask her to dress for company."

Gellert met his eyes in a question, and Albus didn't return to contemplating the convolvulus teapot. Yes, that's a lie.

"I'll come by to look at the books," Gellert said.

"Feel free," Albus said, and wondered if Gellert knew how his heart raced at the words.

P,Q, R, S
By: Panjianlien
What: Star Trek/Potterverse/Red Dwarf - this is a cross-universe story where Jean Luc Picard has sex with Harry Potter and Dumbledore while in the body of Severus Snape. So incredibly complicated and wonderful that it must be read.
Sample quote:

“Easy there,” Jean-Luc murmured, his fingers splaying out against the lightly stubbled cheek.

Stubble? Picard groaned inwardly and kept his eyes shut tight. It was worse than he thought. He hadn’t just gone to bed and not remembered it. He’d gone to the holodeck and not remembered it. Damn. The Captain of the Enterprise shouldn’t be doing that. The captain of a child’s tub toy shouldn’t be doing that.

All right. He admitted it. He really did need a vacation. He would even tell Beverly. And he wouldn't put it off any longer. Ignoring the soft-haired head now resting peacefully on his belly, willfully pushing away the sensation of the broad, warm palm that still cupped his empty balls, Jean-Luc took a deep breath.

“Computer, end program.”

The head shifted position slightly as its owner sighed. “If you want me to go, just say so, Severus. You don’t have to go invoking Muggle cultural references.”