Lost is back! Lost is back! Which can only mean one thing (Okay, it can mean many things, but I'm only interested in this one): Lynn returns with recaps, and you guys go nuts commenting.
I think we can all agree that the first couple of episodes of the new season were eye-searingly wonderful, right?
AngryEddy: "I was so happy LOST was back on, and it was going so great - right up until Kate's stupid face appeared on screen. I wonder if the writers sat around thinking 'How can we make Kate even more annoying?' and then one shouted 'ADD AN ANNOYING KID!!!' and now I have to suffer knowing that these two equally obnoxious characters will be with me to the very end... Seriously, I hope Sun absolutely destroys her."
LaQueLee: "Sadly, this 2 hour premier didn't feel like a solid Lost showing after the first 20 minutes. I can only trust it'll get better. Hardly any WTF moments. Also, I am not even less likely to take the TSA folks seriously."
Okay, but you two are just thinking about it too much. I bet the rest of the world loved it.
Eugenia: "Lost was great last night, too bad the ratings sucked. It just shows that Lost is now a cult show, not for everyone. That's fine for me actually, I am a geek."
92BuickLeSabre: "While I loved it, my wife (whose only tolerance for SF/Fantasy includes an unnatural love of the LOTR movies, a begrudging acceptance of Iron Man, and a sincere enjoyment of Lost) found it dreadfully dull and mildly irritating. I consider that a bad sign."
A bad sign? What are you people talking about? It was a great episode! Time travel! Jack got rid of his beard! Shirtless Sawyer!
critifur: "How is it that Sawyer is getting in worse physical shape as the show goes on. It is only a matter of months, current island time, and Sawyer is sort of flabby in the mid region. Dude work out a little to stay in shape for your shirtless scenes! Sorry guys but that was yuck."
Lynn Peril: "In which universe are you living that Sawyer is considered 'flabby' and 'yuck'?"
ShivangiImbibery: "'yuck'? Jesus Christ, i don't ever want to have the misfortune of dating you. Your standards are beyond sky high. I bet you've never actually had a relationship with anybody, because if Sawer is "yuck" than 99% of guys must cause you to vomit and violently seizure. You can't be serious. The guy is BUILT. And I'm sorry if I was making assumptions by thinking you're a woman. It's just that no man would ever be that ridiculously shallow."
Troylis: "'no man would ever be that ridiculously shallow.' HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well played, sir. Well played."
Okay, it has to be said; ShivangiImbibery was definitely playing the part of Angry Young Commenter this week, so filled with Lost Love that sarcasm was... well, lost, at times:
Pope John Peeps II: "The fat guy gets a takeout hamburger?!?! OMG SPOILER ALERT!!!!!! Is that hamburger here in the now? Or is he eating it in the past! Is it a hamburger from the future, which has travelled back in time! SQUEEEEEE!!!"
ShivangiImbibery: "'that fat guy'? Why comment on this story if you know nothing of the show? Go away and make you piss-poor "jokes" somewhere else. Hurley (or 'that fat guy' for people with your mental capabilities) kicks ass! So shut up and fuck off."
But enough about that. Let's just think about what we actually saw on Wednesday night for a second. Theories about the show based upon the new information, anyone?
Garrison Dean: "I wonder if 'Jones' the military guy with the clearly thick accent at the end of the episode is a young Widmore. Perhaps he was there once and that is where his fascination with the island began."
Ed Grabianowski: "Ok, time for Ed's big Lost theory of Season 5. Ready? Charles Widmore was on the Black Rock. Somehow, they found the island, and he discovered the energy source (thus building the frozen donkey wheel). Remember when Ben turned the wheel to move the island, and said whoever did so could never come back? Apparently Widmore moved the wheel way back then, and traveled to the future. He can't go back to the island, but he's been trying to find it and sending people to secure it so he can exploit it ever since."
Purple Dave: "So here are my whacked-out observations/theories:
1. Jacob built the cabin, and then he died. Now he inhabits the cabin and tells The Leader what to do. Christian is also dead, inhabits the cabin, and tells people what to do (not just The Leader, though, as he appeared to Michael, who had never met him before). Locke was told by Alpert that in order to fix things, he would have to die. Separately, he was told that now that the bullet was out, the Island would take care of everything else. Either Locke is going to end up being resurrected by having everyone return to the Island, or Locke is going to be moving into Jacob's cabin.
2. The white-haired lady will turn out to be Faraday's mother.
2b. Desmond going to meet Faraday's mother will somehow be tied to the fact that she recognized him before and _knew_ that he didn't belong there."
Ah, that'll do nicely. And, if nothing else, I think we can all be united in our love of Daniel Faraday, who gave us joy like this:
pickmeohnevermind: "I really loved Daniel staring at the hatch's back door and watching his face as he went through the convoluted logic of making contact with Desmond: ;OK, so, in my recent past, future-Desmond (relative to this moment I am apparently in) traveled into a moment in his own past prior to becoming Hatch-Desmond, and tracked me down at Oxford, so that now, in my present, he and I have met prior to this moment, in which he is only Hatch-Desmond, even though the Hatch-Desmond doesn't know this, which means that although it's not entirely kosher, I should be able to make contact with Hatch-Desmond (as we have met technically prior to this moment at least in my timeline) and in my present give him a message, which should appear as a new memory to Present-Desmond, who's also future-Desmond relative to the guy on the other side of this door. I think.'"
In fact, greenland has the right idea about how to promote actor Jeremy Davis once the series ends:
I have only one thing to say about season 5:
Daniel Faraday for 11th Doctor.
On behalf of the io9 Hive Mind, I can only agree. Sorry, Matt.