Check out this freaktastic bestiality/surgery scene from The Animal, starring Rob Schneider. Yes, the movie's just as awful as you could imagine, but with an extra layer of trippy dog-in-surgical-mask dance remix insanity.


So if you're still able to comprehend actual language, and your brain hasn't been fused into a lump of putty after that first clip, here's an explanation: Schneider plays Marvin, a wannabe cop who gets in a near-fatal car accident. He's saved by a mustachio-ed mad scientist, who puts tons of animal parts in him, which give him animal superpowers but somehow leave the donor animals unharmed. The above sentence is more thought than the movie's screenwriters ever put into the concept. And here's the Mad Doctor himself explaining the whole shebang:

Believe it or not, these are the two best scenes from the film. The rest of the film is Schneider doing god-awful animal impressions and peeing on people's doorways. He courts a Julia Butterfly Hill-esque woman while the police hunt a beast-person who's been disemboweling cows and mauling people. (And if you can't see where those two divergent storylines come together, you need a refresher course in shlockology.)