Feb 22, 2009 02:00 PM
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San Francisco, 3:40 AM
Wed Feb 10
25 posts in the last 24 hours
Well, I kinda put all my eggs in one basket for the most part this week, but I think you'll be happy. Get to tha DISASTAH!!
V 2.0
So it looks like the remake of V planned to hit the airwaves is going to film in Canada after all. No good can come of this... For starters, lizards hate the cold. And we already know what happens when a foreign power rules their country... nothing. They'll just have to replace the Queen with Jane Badler on their money. Probably a lot of work for those lazy ham eating loafabouts. The only good thing are their new figureheads for the "Ministry of Information".
WATCHMEN
Well, it seems that those of you out there who own 4 million Simpsons items, buy action figures of Dr. Elizabeth Weir (action, really?), and Heath Ledger as Joker bobbleheads think that Watchmen is going too far when it comes to merchandise. To you, I saw pshaw! So, can you blame them, when so much attention is made on the internet about whether or not we get to see Dr. Manhattan's Blue Dong in the film, that they think the fans must love his dork so much that we want ours to look like it... and they make a condom?!
Making movies is expensive and, with people like Torrenters and Tom Rothman taking all the pennies they can from the film-makers, I say go crazy, be creative, and make money any way you can. And it sounds like they are taking my advice:
Like the Manhattan Condom, this is just fun and practical. Who doesn't love a whistle?!
Even your dog can get in on this crazy Watchmen Craze!!!
And who are we kidding. Those lunchboxes and toys aren't for kids. Kids shouldn't be reading Watchmen. Grown men read Watchmen, and what do grown men really need?!
And finally a project for the whole family!
DISASTER:
Well this week comes with an interesting capper. There were no films coming out, or on the horizon that I know will be terrible, and there was a very interesting thread started this week by Logan5 on the topic of Predator. We began to discuss the genre of action in what was for the internet, a very pleasant, calm, cordial, and well informed discussion. I almost felt like Truffaut discussing film theory with Godard in Cahiers Du Cinema. Almost.
So with the Academy Awards today I took it upon myself to put together a hasty list that I call the Action Oscars. I am a one man Academy of Awesome Pictures and I am right about all of them. So print this picture up and keep it with you at all times so that when you get into a discussion with a serious "Film Nerd" shove it in their face and tell them to shut it.
The only things you need to know are this... A: This pertains to Action films, so yes, the original Dawn of the Dead is better than the remake, but it is not an action film. B: Put the word, Action Movie after the superlatives below as in Best Sci-Fi 'Action Movie' etc. C: THIS IS NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION!!!
Well that's all for this week, see you next week friends!
Garrison Dean's real name is not Garrison Dean and he is always looking for work!
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