Now The NeverEnding Story Really Is Never Ending

There is a force so great that not even Atreyu or the Childlike Empress can stop it. Who can save the people of Fantasia from the clutches of the lazy Hollywood reboot?

Why is Warner Bros. slating The NeverEnding Story for another lame remake? First Total Recall, and now the trades are reporting that, "The Kennedy/Marshall Co. and Leonard DiCaprio's shingle Appian Way are in discussions with Warners about reviving the 25-year-old franchise with a modern spin."

A MODERN SPIN!!!! A MODERN SPIN!!! I'm sorry but if I don't see a young boy riding around on a giant dog dragon puppet with a blue screen IMAX's landscape movie titled Canyons of the US or something repeating behind him, and an adorable little girl running around with a necklace draped across her forehead, then I don't want it.

No one wants a CG dragon with a sexy Miley Cyrus Childlike Empress. Seriously, I hope The Nothing eats the souls of those involved with this.

If you insist on desecrating my childhood, i.e., tampering with the NeverEnding Story I will be forced to shoot this cat.

Now The NeverEnding Story Really Is Never Ending