BSG's Last Mission, And Clark's Confession

Ian McShane gears up for his role as the King of alternate-universe New York. And Battlestar's crew readies for the final battle, in a massive week of new TV. Tons of clips, and spoilers, below.

Monday:

Chuck -
Morgan tries to get out of his new living situation and Casey hunts down the biggest bad guy. Oh, and Sarah and Chuck blah blah blah boring relationship, please kill one of them now. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Clip:


Chuck Promo:


Kyle XY -
Kyle brings Cassidy to dinner, and Jessi is all pissed because Cassidy (who despite the name is actually a man) killed her mom or something. But let's be honest here, we all know Jessi is really upset because Kyle won't impregnate her with his test-tubey seed. Don't believe me? Here's a bedroom scene to prove it. Kyle XY is on ABC Family at 9 PM.

Kyle XY Clip


Kyle XY Promo


Heroes -
Sylar meets his Daddy (who is actually Lex Luthor's dad, so wrap your brains around that)! Claire starts working at a comic book store, because cheerleaders love comics. Oh, and Parkman almost dies - again - but I bet he doesn't because that would give us some sort of closure. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Clip


Heroes Promo


Movies:
The Invasion is on 11 AM over on Cinemax. This Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake, starring Nicole Kidman as the psychiatrist who discovers that an alien epidemic affects humans whilst they're sleeping. Oh, and her son may be the planet's only hope. Some call this Kidman's worst film to date - which really says something if you've seen Bewitched.

Tuesday:

No new Fringe this week.

Reaper -
This week our little Reaper has to juggle secret shoppers, Mongols and a demon girlfriend for his friend. I'm glad this light little comedy is back on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip


Reaper Promo


Reaper Promo


Movies:

Dustin Hoffman plays a zany 243-year old toy store owner in Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium, who prepares Natalie Portman to step into his shoes as the store's owner in this saccharine tale about believing in yourself and believing that Natalie Portman could ever be awkward. The magic happens on HBO at 11:30 AM.

Wednesday:

No more Knight Rider, because it's dead. Let us drag its robot bones through the streets while children throw rocks at its headlights. Die, you terrible show, die - and never return!

No new Lost this week, next week.

Life On Mars -
Annie and Sam go undercover, and oops-a-daisy they end up at a swingers party - whatever will they do? And are we back to having episodes based on the British series all of a sudden? LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:
Tonight enjoy the fifth and arguably best installment to date in the timeless saga of the boy wizard, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Harry and his mates find themselves up against evil Ministry of Magic- appointed Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Dolores Umbridge whose cruel and unusual practices only further motivate the boy savior in his quest against Lord Voldemort. This movie rules, so you need to turn on HBO at 7:30 PM.

Thursday:

Smallville -
Smallville is back - and everybody wants to take a shot a Clark, including Tori Spelling, yep she's back. Oh and Lois knows that Clark is the "red and blue blur," so my money is, it's all a dream. Smallville is on the CW at 8 PM.

Smallville Clips


Smallville Clips


Smallville Promo


Supernatural -
The righteous brothers are back, and visiting a town that is cheating death. Well they'll put a stop to that by turning into ghosts - to the locker rooms! See how the brothers bring back the reapers, on the CW at 9 PM.

Supernatural Clip


Supernatural Clip


Supernatural Clip


Supernatural Clip


Supernatural Promo


Eleventh Hour -
Hood takes a fancy trip to New York City fashion week when a bunch of murders occur on the runway, on CBS at 10 PM.

Movies:

Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster is on at 4.15 AM on AMC, and yes, it's as awesome as it sounds, as this "found footage" proves. In this monster b-movie from 1960s Puerto Rico, an android Frankenstein battles a Martian Princess and her crew. After the android's brain is damaged, he terrorizes the island, whilst the princess and her cronies hit up pool parties and hang out with the 1960s Puerto Rican version of Brody Jenner.

Friday:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
The first of a two-parter: Sarah and John scatter as future-girl Jesse starts remembering what happened on her not-so-yellow submarine... but what we really want to know is, will this be the episode that John gets revenge? T:SCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

T:SCC Promo:


Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
Rock and roll music and reptile fighting this week, as Batman goes to Adam Strange's home planet of Rann, on the Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Batman: The Brave And The Bold Clip:


Batman: The Brave And The Bold Clip:


Star Wars: Clone Wars -
The conclusion to the Ryloth chapter is tonight. Will the Jedis be able to liberate the people and save the race, on Cartoon Network at 9 PM? This is the second episode of the three-part season finale.

Star Wars: Clone Wars Promo:


Dollhouse -
Echo gets yet another ass-kicking lady imprint, but this time it's different, because she's blind. But don't worry, nothing will go as planned, as usual, and her imprint will probably backfire on her while she's trying to break into a secret cult. The latest episode is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:


Battlestar Galactica -
Someone please tell me what is happening with Starbuck right now. So what is she anyway: an angel? Surely not. Let's hope this big battle everyone is revving up for will answer some questions. "Daybreak, Pt. 1" is the first hour of a three-hour finale. I mean this is it - this is the end. Let's get excited, people. BSG is on the Sci Fi Channel at 10 PM.

BSG Promo:


Saturday:

Movies:
Men in Black II The men in black are back to save the earth from the scum of the universe, in the sequel to the classic alien caper on TBS at 7 PM.

Sunday:

Kings -

Silas Benjamin (Ian McShane) rules over all he sees, with a corrupt set of values and a belief that it was his divine right to rule his country, which is pretty much New York. But his world is changed, when a young country boy saves his big gay son from imminent death on the battlefield (I think they're fighting New Jersey, seriously). Now Silas has a national hero he can manipulate to suit his Kingly needs, and of course all hell breaks loose. But it's got Ian McShane, so check it out on NBC at 8 PM.



Movies:
In Journey to the Center of the Earth, Brendan Fraser travels to the center of the earth in search of his missing brother, but only discovers the black hole his career has been sucked into. Tune in at 6 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Additional reporting by Julia Carusillo