Mar 15, 2009 12:00 PM
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Wed Feb 10
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Battlestar Galactica comes to an end this Friday... but why does it have to end at all? Never mind Caprica, here're some other possible additions to the BSG family that could one day happen.
Untitled Drama Series
For an SF series about spirituality, humanity's true nature and the hotness of the cylon women, Galactica has always had a curiously blue-collar feel to it (especially in episodes like "Dirty Hands," where Tyrol stands up for the rights of the refinery workers). So why not celebrate that with a drama all about the unnamed schlubs who aren't part of the military, nor have destinies to fulfill and prophecies to meet... but are just trying to make an honest day's living in the middle of the destruction of the human race? Keep the cylons out of it as anything more than occasionally-mentioned bogeymen and allow Galactica's social commentary to come to the fore and stay there for once. Let The Wire's David Simon run the writers' room and see what happens.
Friday Night Frak-Up
Who wouldn't want to see thirty minutes of various members of the Colonial Fleet beating the shit out've each other? Yes, "Unfinished Business" was only the beginning, and Friday Night Frak-Up could be exactly what an audience who found themselves all hot and bothered at the sight of Apollo and Starbuck boxing is looking for: Half an hour of Katee Sackhoff and Jamie Bamber sweating and grunting a lot, with added violence. It's a ratings winner, admit it.
Cottle MD
The high concept speaks for itself; it's House in space. Galactica's chain-smoking, ornery doctor has been an oddly calming presence throughout the show's history, never failing in his ability to speak bluntly and make even the worst situation just a little bit bleaker. This is what I'm suggesting - An hour-long drama about Cottle moving to a new hospital ship where the boss hates him but also has a crush on him, he has three flawed geniuses as assistants, and John Hodgman's brain surgeon is his long-suffering best friend. Sneak it onto NBC as a replacement for er and Emmies await, I'm telling you.
'Til Death And Subsequent Resurrection Do Us Part
Married bliss is impossible for most sitcom couples... but what happens when the blushing bride is a human-killing machine? That's the question behind what could be the most groundbreaking situation comedy ever seen on the Sci Fi Channel. One human male, one cylon female and a whole household full of "hilarious misunderstandings" await as the union between humanity and the cylon race reaches the domestic frontier, where they'll be glad that - in space - no-one can hear you scream "I want a divorce!"
Top Colonial Chef
This one's a winner. Fifteen chefs fight for the title of Top Chef... but one of them is a cylon sleeper agent who keeps sabotaging everyone else's dish. And, as if that wasn't enough to worry about, the ever-dwindling food supply keeps all the contestants on their toes - which is a good thing, considering that there's no knowing which of the contestants will find their homes under attack from cylons, military coups or even just plain everyday thuggery. The tagline sells itself: "It's reality... but out of this world!" No? Well, maybe I could interest you in "Gaius Baltar's Spiritual Awakening Hour" or "My Own Worst Enemy (Is A Sexy Blonde Woman In My Head Who May Be A Cylon Or Possibly A Personification Of My Own Self-Loathing)"...? Sadly, I got too many of 'em...
Send an email to Graeme McMillan, the author of this post, at graeme@io9.com.
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