With Star Trek coming out on Thursday, everybody on the internet is publishing top-ten lists about Trek. Here are our ten favorites, including villains, technobabble, babes and fight scenes.
10) Top 10 Star Trek Movies.
Yes, I know. There are only 10 Trek movies, before the new one. (At least this is one top 10 list where nobody can complain that something important got left out.) Mike Scott with the New Orleans Times-Picayune has been ranking the previous 10 films from worst to best. You won't be shocked to hear that Star Trek V is the worst, followed by all the TNG films except for First Contact. Then Star Trek III is the sixth best, followed by Star Trek VI. Scott still hasn't revealed his top four, but the only remaining films are First Contact, Khan, Voyage Home and The Motion Picture. (TMP? Really?) There's also the top 10 Star Trek movie scores.
9) Top 10 Star Trek Moms.
This one is just sort of hilarious, including human moms like Beverly Crusher and Amanda Grayson... but also the whale in The Voyage Home and the Horta in "Devil In The Dark." How come nobody ever puts the Horta on a mother's day card? It's over at TrekMovie.
8) Top 10 Star Trek Villains.
This one makes me sort of sad, since it turns out there aren't actually ten great Star Trek villains. IGN tries valiantly, but winds up packing their list with characters like Kruge (from Search For Spock) and Weyoun (from Deep Space Nine.) Another site, Emagill, winds up packing their list with "the Conspiracy bugs" and Silik. (Neither site mentions Tomalok. Or Kor, from "Mission Of Mercy.") Even Film.com's "top five Star Trek villains," which is a lot less ambitious, winds up including Lursa and B'tor. Really? (Khan belt buckle from Zomboy.)
7) Top 10 Weirdest Star Trek Videos.
This list seems like another super obvious candidate, since if there weren't bizarre fan-made Trek videos, YouTube would have to shut down or become the Susan Boyle channel. Several of these I'd seen before, like the Star Trek Vs. Star Wars video, the Star Trek sex faces video and the Star Trek/A-Team opening credits video. But there's also this pretty awesome coffee commercial, paying homage to Sulu's destroyed coffee cup in The Undiscovered Country and that Voyager episode:
6) Top 10 Star Trek: TNG episodes.
With 178 episodes, and many of the strongest individual episodes in the franchise, there's plenty to choose from. EW picks a fairly solid list, including the "four lights" episode, the "Worf's cha'Dich" episode, and the "is Data human" episode. Plus a couple of clunkers, like the "Wesley's Starfleet Academy adventure" episode. Graduate student and self-proclaimed geek Martin McCrory has a somewhat more rock-solid list, including some bold choices.
5) Top 10 Cheesiest Star Trek Classic Creatures
This list is going to make the salt vampire cry — which will only make it need more salt. Poor salt vampire. Wired has a list ruthlessly mocking some of the creature design on the original series, including my personal favorite, the Mugatu. Just as long as they don't do anything similar for classic Doctor Who.
4) Top 10 Original Star Trek Babes
It's not all scantily clad women — it includes the awesome Romulan commander from "The Enterprise Incident," for one — but this list from Gather.com also showcases quite how ahead of its time, fashion wise, the original Trek was. Check out Andrea the Android's sexy/crazy strap outfit.
3) Top 10 Star Trek Characters.
This one seems like such an obvious idea, but few sites have assayed it. From the original series, this list at Fix My Internet Now! only includes Kirk and Spock, but then goes pretty heavy on the TNG and DS9 characters. Like all right-thinking people, they completely leave out Voyager and Enterprise. (Actually, I'm kidding. My own top 10 list would have included B'elanna Torres, "Trip" Tucker, possibly T'Pol and possibly Tuvok. Becuase I obviously have a soft spot for Vulcans.)
2) Top 10 Star Trek Inventions That Exist Today.
J.J. Abrams likes to say that Trek's 1960s vision of the future has come true, and a couple of different sites have stepped up to bear him out. Filmjunk has a list of Star Trek inventions that we're already using today, including basic stuff like portable memory, bluetooth headsets and biometrics, but also location finding. Networkworld has a somewhat more exciting list of inventions that are now in development, including phasers, tractor beams, cloaking devices and hyposprays. Probably the best list of this type, though, is at Space.com, from Technovelgy's Bill Christensen. It includes stuff like the Tricorder, the communicator, the Universal Translator, "credits," and more.
1) Top 10 Star Trek Technobabbles from Cinemassacre.com.
I can't believe they managed to pick just ten of these, although to be fair like half of them are Data or Geordi. I love the idea that this is "science that's made to sound plausible and realistic, but really it's full of shit." In general, the video is priceless:
So there you are. All we need now is for someone to add this top 10 list to their own top 10 list of Star Trek posts, and the recursiveness will be perfect.
Oh, and here's a runner up:
Best Unintentionally Funny Star Trek Fight Scenes
Sadly, there are only nine things in this list at Unreality Mag, so it doesn't really belong in a list of top 10 lists. But it's a wonderful tribute to the unrestrained, juggernaut fighting style of William Shatner. Including this great smackdown: