A bevy of terrible contraptions have been concocted lately for the benefit of our breasts. Here are a few of the more recent "WTF get the away from me" over-the-shoulder boulder-holder gadgets.
We already told you about NASA's space-age project to create a bra that can detect breast cancer, but these new devices are even more random and less potentially useful.
Tiny Pillow For Your Dirty Pillows:
This is the Kush. It's pretty self explanatory, both in its worthless use and its obvious sexual innuendo.
Vacuum Your Breasts Bigger
The Brava is a sports bra that encloses the breasts in a vacuum, which then applies tension to the area, like a vacuum. According to their site:
BRAVA works by placing a gentle amount of tension (three-dimensional pull) on the breasts, and when sustained, the result is new breast tissue. This technique, known as tissue expansion, is not new; just the application is.
It doesn't say how much the Brava costs, but I'm going to guess about 400 moon bucks, because it's absolutely insane.
Massage Your Self To Health
Pangao promises to make your breasts "more healthy" and larger by stimulating them with remote massage that promises to:
"dredge breast glands, eliminate blood stasis and effectively prevent women from breast diseases and flaccid, also can move fat and make a well-shaped figure. If use it often, you can have a sound sleep, immunity from disease and better internal secretion."
Oh Pangao, you say the sweetest things. What ridiculous drek.