Drugged Out Wallabies Are Trying To Get In Touch With Aliens

Don't waste another second attempting to decode Aussie crop circles — the alien mystery has been solved. They are, in fact, just a gang of no-good wallabies getting high and running around in circles.

If aliens come to Earth, you can bet they'll be looking for a new dealer. Turns out the wallabies of Tasmania have been getting high in the medical poppy fields and crank-calling the stars with phony crop circles, for some time now.

The wallabies were breaking in and eating the poppy heads, then running about in circles, the hooligans.

Attorney-General Lara Giddings explains:

"The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles...
Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

It just goes to prove, the truth is out there.

[The Mercury]