Speaking of what you do and do not want harvested, this clip from 1980s classic Cherry 2000 reminds us of the gentle art of the implied robot crotch. Our human protagonist is getting it on with his Cherry 2000 bot, giving us a teeny glimpse of robo-ass before getting all sudsy and humpy with her hidden (but not unused) crotch. Sadly, he hasn't learned the first thing about circuit boards. Water isn't good for them. So his crotch satisfaction is severely undermined.
And then there's another twentieth century classic: Robot Jox. Which is all about people who zoom around inside giant robot armor things, which happen to have crotchly surprises in store for us.
Not that genitals will necessarily be any less annoying, as this video by Japanese bizarro artist Murakami makes clear. His character Inochi, a robot going through puberty, still has to contend with unruly boners even though he's an artificial being. Being weird-looking probably doesn't help.
Jun 26, 2009 04:46 PM
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With everybody talking about that up-skirt shot in Transformers where we see Devastator's, um, wrecking balls, it's time to consider the fine history of robot crotches in pop culture. We've got the ten best moments of robo-nethers in history.
This list will give you a powerful injection of robot crotches, real and imaginary. Here you can see concept art of a giant robot designed to put out forest fires. It has four arms and a massive reach. Unclear why exactly it needs that mega-crotch, which I think contains water pistons as well as what seem to be giant graspers in the scrotal region. How would you like your burning trees harvested with that?
Speaking of what you do and do not want harvested, this clip from 1980s classic Cherry 2000 reminds us of the gentle art of the implied robot crotch. Our human protagonist is getting it on with his Cherry 2000 bot, giving us a teeny glimpse of robo-ass before getting all sudsy and humpy with her hidden (but not unused) crotch. Sadly, he hasn't learned the first thing about circuit boards. Water isn't good for them. So his crotch satisfaction is severely undermined.
And then there's another twentieth century classic: Robot Jox. Which is all about people who zoom around inside giant robot armor things, which happen to have crotchly surprises in store for us.
Let's get real again, though. Check out this recently-built Japanese robot, who keeps his human companion safely tucked right between his legs. If you've ever dreamed of being inside robot wood, well this is your chance.
This is an action figure based on characters from Appleseed, the anime where humans and cyborgs are so entertwined that it's hard to know which is which. And that provides us with this amazing and rare double-crotch shot. We've got our fighter girl, showing her crotch, snug inside her robot armor, which also has quite a substantial bulge in its special place. I don't know what to call this. I think what it means is that in the future, genitals will be a lot more complicated than ever before.
Not that genitals will necessarily be any less annoying, as this video by Japanese bizarro artist Murakami makes clear. His character Inochi, a robot going through puberty, still has to contend with unruly boners even though he's an artificial being. Being weird-looking probably doesn't help.
In the realm of dangerous robot crotches, there's the crotch you can just barely glimpse in this picture of the replicant Pris from Bladerunner. At one point in the film, she does a full-on crotch attack on protagonist Deckard, wrapping her legs around his neck and almost squeezing his noggin off.
Nemo Gould's sculpture, Goliath, has such an anotomically-noticeable set of bits between his legs that the poor bot has been defaced multiple times by neighbors in the posh San Francisco neighborhood where he resides. Poor Goliath. Luckily, Nemo has been able to restore him after he was vandalized and his robo-balls still hang free.
This giant statue of a Gundam robotic armor soldier looms outside Tokyo, his mega-crotch keeping everyone safe from forces in the world who hate magnificently large pocket rockets.
Sure, Devastator has giant balls, but nobody competes with Optimus Prime's undercarriage OK? Check out the heft on that.
And no list of this sort would be complete without a tip of the hat to the ladies. Here's Kristina Lokken from Terminator 3, demonstrating the latest innovations built into her model. Namely, an ability to make her termino-boobs expand in order to impress male police officers.
Send an email to Annalee Newitz, the author of this post, at annalee@io9.com.
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