New G.I. Joe Poster Is An Adequate Substitute For The Movie. Plus Torchwood Mega-Spoilers!

A new G.I. Joe poster sums up the whole movie, and a Gamer trailer explains everything. There are a ton of new Torchwood spoilers. Plus 9, Sarah Jane, FlashForward, Lost, Heroes, Smallville, Chuck, Eureka and True Blood. Spoilers run Bartertown!


9:

Here are a couple more stills from this post-apocalyptic ragdolls-vs-killer-robots epic, directed by Shane Acker. [SpoilerTV-movies]

New G.I. Joe Poster Is An Adequate Substitute For The Movie. Plus Torchwood Mega-Spoilers!S

New G.I. Joe Poster Is An Adequate Substitute For The Movie. Plus Torchwood Mega-Spoilers!S

Gamer:

The new international trailer for this Gerard Butler-is-a-playable-character movie includes some new footage, especially at the start, and gives you a nice rundown of this film's weird premise:

G.I. Joe:

A new poster shows a power-suited Scarlett (Rachel Nichols) posing seductively in front of an explosion. Do you think they're trying to tell you something about this movie? [SpoilerTV-movies]

New G.I. Joe Poster Is An Adequate Substitute For The Movie. Plus Torchwood Mega-Spoilers!S

Sarah Jane Adventures:

We already showed you some set photos of Sarah Jane having dinner with the new man in her life, played by Nigel Havers. But now there's official confirmation (albeit from an unreliable newspaper) that Havers appears in two episodes of this Doctor Who spinoff, and he plays Sarah Jane's new love interest. [The Sun]

Torchwood:

The new miniseries "Children Of Earth" begins with a mysterious occurrence in 1965, before zapping forward in time to the present day, with those spooky chanting kids. And then we get reintroduced to the three surviving leads. We catch up with Jack and Ianto in a banter-filled hospital sequence involving a nasty hitchhiker. And there's a Twin Peaks in-joke involving a real estate agent. An alien entity is arriving on Earth, using the world's children to announce its intentions. The first episode ends with one of the best cliffhangers ever.

The second episode shifts to the British governments perfidy and attempts to wipe out Torchwood, spearheaded by a "uber-mean bitch baddie" played by Liz May Brice. We meet a young NHS doctor named Rupesh who's "eager to please Captain Jack" (oh yes?), a man with a disturbed past named Timothy White, and a personal assistant at the Home Office named Lois, who discovers a disturbing clue on her computer — a blank page. Episode two also allows us to spend time with PC Andy, Rhys, Ianto's family, and someone close to Captain Jack. (Probably his daughter.)

And then episode three features the fiery arrival of the alien visitor. We glimpse a creature lurking in the mist, with spooky sound effects. But we don't really get to see the alien properly until episode four. Also, at some point during the first three episodes, someone says "Have you gone bender?" And there's an action sequence involving Ianto and a JCB. And Jack angsts (surprise!) over his immortality. And there's a "jaw-dropping revelation" at the end of episode three, showing us that someone's been a naughty boy. [Digital Spy]

FlashForward:

The "selll sheet" for this series offers a new plot synopsis:

When an unexplained, cataclysmic event knocks out the entire population of the world at the exact same moment, for two minutes and 17 seconds, everyone glimpses their own future. Then they wake up to chaos. From his flash forward, LA FBI Agent MARK BENFORD is desperate to stop what's coming – because it's a future he doesn't want to see. Before long, everyone starts asking themselves and each other, "What did you see?" As Mark and his team struggle to fgure out what caused this bizarre event, the only thing they have to go on is a huge mosaic of people's flash forwards.

So it really is about changing the future. Also, in case it wasn't clear, Sonya Walger is playing Olivia, the wife of Mark Benford (Joseph Fiennes). John Cho is playing FBI agent Demetri Noh, Jack Davenport plays Lloyd Simcoe, Brian F. O'Byrne plays Aaron Stark, and Courtney B. Vance plays Stan Wedeck. [SpoilerTV]

Lost:

Matthew Fox gives some hints to a French magazine. He says Jack will fight someone "more powerful than Ben" in the final season. And he believes that the tortured Jack will find the redemption he's searching for. There'll be no more flashbacks or other time-jumping in season six, just a linear storyline going forward. And Fox never believed in Jack/Kate, and doesn't believe they'll ever be in each other's arms again. Season six will answer all your questions, and prove that the show's creators knew the ending all along. And that ending? Will be sad, beautiful and liberating. [Lyly Ford]

Smallville:

The season opener is called "Savior," and we'll meet a few new characters. The show put out a casting call for a character who's being referred to as "Allia," who's "beautiful, sexy femme fatale assassin with mysteriously intimate ties to Clark and Krypton." (Could this be Ursa?) She's an expert fighter, good with a throwing star and a sword, and they're seeking an actor with a martial-arts background to play this krypto-ninja, who's a recurring character. Also, there's "Fiona," a female soldier who's "sexy and hot" in her faded military jacket — but "Fiona" turns against her leader. "Fiona" and her fellow soldier "Basqat" imprison their leader. And "Fiona" may recur as well.

Also turning up in the season opener? Field journalist John Corben, who's filling in for the missing-in-action Clark Kent.

The season's second episode is called "Metallo," and that's when we meet Brian Austin Green as the titular villain. [Kryptonsite]

Heroes:

We haven't run a heart-crushing Heroes report in a few days. How's this? Apparently, you won't even be able to tell who's who next season, because shapeshifters Sylar and Peter Petrelli keep turning themselves into various characters and "day-players." Doesn't that sound great? And Cristina Rose says Angela Petrelli goes through another huge change in the third episode of the season, having to do with Sylar/Nathan's shapeshifting. Adrian Pasdar explains (sort of):

It's classic Mama Petrelli. It's more on her consistent behavior than it is on mine. I have a little bit of a shift going through my character, so she's more solid. It more resonates around her gravity pull than mine.

Do you have any idea what that means? Me neither. Also, Pasdar says he's not going to play Sylar — he's going to play someone pretending to be Nathan. And this will involve tics and obsessive-compulsive behaviors. And Pasdar says we may finally see Nathan redeemed this year. Even though he's dead. [Sci Fi Wire]

Chuck:

Carina, the super sexy spy and Sarah's former partner, returns in season three. [ChuckTV]

Eureka:

Syfy's Craig Engler Twittered that filming is almost done on this mad-science series — except that they still need to build the world's longest truck. [Twitter]

True Blood:

This show is going to get even darker and weirder going forward, says Carrie Preston:

It gets more bizarre. Like, truly dark and bizarre. It was pretty explicit last year, but I guess they have to go somewhere from last season... Oh, my gosh, you're going to see characters do things that you would never expect them to do. You're going to see them do things they would never expect themselves to do. It goes to a pretty crazy place.

And she says Arlene will discover there are some things that are truly beyond her control. [Sci Fi Wire]

Additional reporting by Alexis Brown.