Nathan Stark Lives On As A Vampire

Ed Quinn will save us from fey vampire hell, with one fanged smirk on this week's True Blood. But until Sunday, you've got a new Eureka, and a documentary all about JK Rowling's magical world building, to tide you over.

Monday:

Spectacular Spider-Man -
School's back from winter break, and so is the Sandman. But more importantly — superhero fiestas! Peter is invited to Flash's birthday party, and may never get this teen-angst thing under control. Meanwhile, is that Venom he keeps spotting?

The Spectacular Spider-Man: First Steps:

Movies:
There can only be one, until there was a fourth, movie, that is. Highlander: Endgame with Christopher Lambert as Connor MacLeod is on TMC at 10 PM.

Tuesday:

Warehouse 13 -
Thank your lucky Battlestars — Cylon Number Six (Tricia Helfer) is back as a guest star on this week's Warehouse, complete with her sexy walk and even sexier authoritative talk. Pete and Myka assist the much-missed Helfer as a string of bank robberies in Chicago leaves people stunned. Meanwhile, Artie tries to get to the bottom of a security breach at the warehouse. Warehouse 13 returns on the newly spelled SyFy channel at 9 PM.

Warehouse Promo

Better Off Ted -
Veridian makes a perfume for women... that causes hornets to attack. Linda is thrown under the bus by the company and Phil and Lem's friendship is tested yet again by the depositions. Support your local nerds, on ABC at 9 PM.

On The Set With Phil And Lem (le nerd sigh)

That's Impossible -
How long until we have real Terminators? And will they really look like Governator Arnold? The possibility of robotic soldiers who are able to think is discussed, and current research and developments are showcased. Welcome to your A.I.-dominated future, on the History Channel at 10 PM.

Wednesday:

Monsters Inside Me -
Now that this micro-terror show has already ruled out swimming, sleeping or even DRINKING WATER, what's next? Try not breathing. Tonight the show that scares the bejeezus out of us all continues to with a seminar on the sexual reproduction of parasites, including those of botflies and worms, which flourish in your lungs. I really, really hate this show.

Cough Up Blood With Monsters Inside Me:

MonsterQuest -
Forget Shark Week, killer crocs are on the prowl on the History Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:
Robin Williams escapes from a board game, only to face wild monkeys... and oh yeah, a stampede of elephants. Jumanji is on AMC at 8 PM.

Thursday:

J.K. Rowling: A Year in the Life -
Harry Potter and his origins are revealed in this special about the children's author. America finally gets a look at Rowling's intimate life, filmed in the year leading up to the release of the seventh HP novel. Elizabeth Vargas's interview with the richest woman in England airs on ABC at 8 PM. Can't wait? Check out this documentary from across the pond, of the same name.


Are We Alone? -
By checking out the extreme climates and studying areas with little to no water, can scientists prove extraterrestrial life exists? Some travel to the most extreme locations on Earth, including Death Valley in California, to discover if life on other planets is even possible.

And maybe some Sookie-Bill love will be shown while Anna Paquin's on Letterman on CBS at 11:30 PM.

Friday:
Eureka -
Carter has to get all certificated as sheriff again, and it hurts his soft little human brain. But this is Eureka after all, and problems can only be solved via more problems, so Allison heads out to scan the town with her DNA-monitoring system, injuring Deputy Lupo in the process. The season continues on SyFy at 9 PM.

Movies:
Keanu Reeves is the disaffected tattooed savior known as John Constantine. Tune in for Rachel Weisz, but stay for the devil. Constantine is on AMC at 9 PM.

Saturday:

Kings -
Here it is, folks: the end. The first part of the finale airs tonight, as Silas continues trying to pawn off Port Prosperity on Gath, throws Jack and David in jail, and generally looks unhappy. On a brighter Michelle looks for ways to save the jailed David. The show that NBC sent to Saturdays to die airs at 8 PM. It's wrong what they did to this series, just wrong, and if you caught the last episode, you should agree.

Primeval -
A strange woman from the future appears, as a stampede of homicidal rhinos head through an anomaly ready to attack. But, trust me, this future lady is way more interesting than the pack of CG rhinos. Find out her secret on BBC America at 9 PM.

Primeval Promo

Movies:
Monsters and gods rule the SyFy Channel all day. The games and fights begin with Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God, followed by Rock Monster, Grendel, The Book of Beasts, the recent Thor: Hammer of the Gods and finally The Scorpion King. The hunt for monsters begins at 9 AM.

Sunday:

True Blood -
We need more quality time in Dallas — lots more. Let's hope the Hillbilly road show made of Eric, Sookie, Jessica and Bill can entertain us for just a little while longer, in the big bad city. Oh and if you didn't think this show could get any sexier, ED QUINN will be making his fanged debut. True Blood is on HBO at 9 PM.

True Blood Promo:

Movies:
Watch the world NOT be destroyed on the conclusion of NBC's latest campy miniseries em>Meteor on at 9 PM. Wouldn't if just be a peach if they actually let it explode?

Additional writing and reporting by Caitlin Petrakovitz.