New Iron Man 2 Spoilers Could Put The Fear Of Sequels Into You

New Iron Man 2 spoilers include a cockatoo and horny superheroes. Just how ironic will Iron Man be? Meanwhile, there are new Pandorum, Zombieland, Kick-Ass, Cloudy, Heroes and Warehouse 13 pics. Plus: New Moon, Dollhouse, FlashForward, Smallville and Fringe spoilers!

Iron Man 2:

So the Entertainment Weekly cover story didn't just give us our first look at the Black Widow. It also fleshed out the movie's storyline, and included one quote that's already making some people very nervous. Apparently, "fast-talking weapons manufacturer" Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) is a full-blown antagonist for Tony Stark, not just an irritant. Hammer fancies himself the next Tony Stark, and he joins forces with Vanko (Mickey Rourke), a Russian who makes his own power suit, with laser whips, while he's in prison.

And then there's the somewhat worrying quote. Rourke says:

I told Favreau, 'I don't want to just play him as a one-dimensional p—--.' He let me have a cockatoo, who I talk to and get drunk with while I'm making my suit.

(Did you watch Iron Man and think to yourself, "This would be better if there was a drunk guy talking to a cockatoo while making himself a bondage harness with laser whips?" Me neither.)

Meanwhile, turns out Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow isn't just a slinky superspy. She's also Natasha, who joins Stark Industries as Tony Stark's new assistant, ruffling the feathers of Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow). Says Paltrow:

The men want it to be, like, 'Ooh, the girls are fighting over Tony,' but it's not as standard as that. There's a weird male catfight fantasy.

But lest you think the whole thing is going to be totally grown-up and demure, Robert Downey Jr. adds that the difference between Iron Man and other superhero francises is that Shellhead is "horny." [EW]

Zombieland:

EW also has a few new pictures (including one startling one) from this zombie free-for-all comedy. More at the link. [EW]

Pandorum:

And EW has a neat looking still, with a nice look at Dennis Quaid, from this space horror epic. [EW]

Thirst:

And finally, EW posted a nice pic from this vampire film. [EW]

New Moon:

Chris Weitz says the final Jacob werewolf look will be more photo-realistic than the glimpse you saw in the movie's trailer. He also says his take on the Volturi will be close to the book, but depart considerably from fan speculation — and his belief is that they just went insane after living for 2000 years. David Slade's approach to Eclipse will be different than his approach to New Moon, albeit with the same cast and crew. [HitFix and Rotten Tomatoes via Twilighters Anonymous]

Separately, Hollywood.com visited the set for a couple days. In all those scenes where Edward appears to Bella as a ghostly presence, apparently he's wearing a very natty gray suit and goes through some intense facial expressions. And they watched the filming of one scene in the Volturi lair, where Edward wears a maroon bathrobe-like cloak. And here's roughly how the scene goes:

Edward, Bella and Alice stand in front of the Volturri. Edward, looking many gray shades of haggard, takes a dramatic step toward the vampires and seems to hit an invisible wall. He crumbles to the ground, writhing in pain. Alice, wearing red gloves, crouches down to tend to him.

Bella: "Stop, stop! Try it on me. Just stop hurting him!"

[Hollywood.com]

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs:

Here are a couple of new stills from the animated movie based on the classic children's book. [IGN]

FlashForward:

Another casting call for this crazy clairvoyant klatch, this time for episode four. We'll meet:

• Ned, a quirky looking, philosophical scuba-diver.
• Father Seabury, a baby-faced forty-year-old Episcopal priest, dealing with an influx of people seeking spiritual guidance, and Father Seabury's older female secretary.
• Vladmir, a Russian emigre working in a fast-food joint, who gets into an altercation.
• Marc, a kind white guy with short hair.
• A TV reporter who "teases a positive story."
• Louis, the dumb, self-aggrandizing manager of a fast-food joint, and his female cashier.
• Maneesh, an anesthesiologist who stands up to a well-respected surgeon, Meade, a surgical resident involved in a high-pressure surgery, and Alice, a non-white Chief of Surgery who's friends with that difficult surgeon.
• Chris, an athletic, "unassuming leader," who keeps his cool in a high-pressure situation.
• Rob, an egotistical astronaut, who learns the hard way that he impresses himself more than he does others, plus Jill, a folksy straight-shooter who works for NASA.

Heroes:

Hayden Panettiere was on set, wearing a surprisingly slinky dress. A formal event? Some kind of sorority thing? [SpoilerTV]

Dollhouse:

This is almost too vague to post as a spoiler, but EW's Ausiello saw the unaired episode "Epitaph One" (the one with Felicia Day) and said he found it really confusing. [EW]

Fringe:

It doesn't sound like Charlie (Kirk Acevedo) is being killed off. Ausiello says "We haven't seen the last of him." And the reason he's disappearing from the show is because the writers didn't have much for him to do — which could change at some point, in theory. [EW]

Warehouse 13:

And here are some promo photos from episode 5. Guest stars! Goggles! [SpoilerTV]

Smallville:

The major relationship this season, as you've no doubt gleaned, will be Clark-Lois. Lois-Ollie may come up, but it won't be made into a big deal. [EW]

Additional reporting by Alexis Brown.

Send an email to Charlie Jane Anders, the author of this post, at charliejane@io9.com.

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