A little bow-tie-wearing mad scientist attempts to reanimate a naked woman's corpse, but her mouth gushes pink fizz and her hand falls off. What to do? Force-feed her her own tongue, then mutilate her, to a jazzy piano score. (NSFW!)

This utterly bizarre scene comes from The Android Of Notre Dame, a Japanese horror gem released in the United States as part of the Guinea Pig series. This may actually be the worst Japanese horror film ever made, about the worst mad scientist in history — but luckily, the whole dreadful exercise only lasts 50 minutes.

The scientist is trying to save his sister, who's dying of a heart defect — and I'm not sure how reanimating dead women is supposed to help, much less mutilating their corpses for no reason. He does actually succeed in doing some real mad science, however. The guy who sold him the dead woman comes back and tries to blackmail him — so he kills the guy (cutting his legs off) and then reanimates his severed head as a kind of cyborg, whose eyes are video cameras and who controls a robot arm.

Here, the dead guy's girlfriend finds his cyborg severed head and is understandably upset. So when he wants to grope her breast with his robot arm, she figures she ought to let him. Bad, bad idea. Never, ever let your dead boyfriend grope you with his robot arm. This is rule number one for modern relationships: