FlashForward Does The Future, Dollhouse Does The Present

At last, the true beginning of the new TV season: Dollhouse is back, Heroes is giving it another go and the highly anticipated series Flashforward airs, so we can all stop asking if it's the new Lost.


Monday:

Heroes -
Redemption does not come easy in the two-hour season premiere, on NBC at 8 PM. Claire, trying to escape her past, heads to college (with that possible lesbian tryst coming up) and garners more attention than she would like following a strange death. Matriarch Angela worries that her son Nathan will truly self-actualize; and Peter, while trying to use his powers for good, must turn and help a friend in need. In the meantime, a mysterious clan is on their way to greet a familiar face.


The Big Bang Theory -
Why did Leonard go to the arctic circle?! What was he thinking? Because now, when Sheldon throws a hissy fit and takes off for Texas, after the boys' experiment, the friends follow... killing Leonard's chance for a romantic reunion with Penny. Your poking and prodding us to commit already and include this show has finally worked, so tune in to CBS at 9:30 PM.



House
So just how crazy is the smartest doctor on television? Here's hoping he kicks the dead girl out of his brain — we've got insane diseases to cure and it's never Lupus. Yes, we are covering House now you all win again. The two hour season premiere is at 8 PM on Fox tonight.

Movies:
Ben Stiller brings all the wax things to life at the Museum of Natural History and then slaps around a monkey: Comedy! Night At The Museum is on FX at 5:30 PM.

Tuesday:

Say goodbye to Warehouse 13 the right way, with an all day Syfy marathon starting at 9 AM.

Warehouse 13 -
In the season finale (yes, it's only been a dozen episodes, but man, haven't they been fairly awesome?!) Artie and our agents catch up to MacPherson when he's trying to sell off items he's stolen from the warehouse. Did he even think this plan through? Oh, wait, yes. Turns out he's had a plan the whole time. Say goodbye to America's attic, for now, at 9 PM on Syfy.


The Universe -
Will the apocalypse destroy Earth itself? Or will some villain hurl it into the sun? Tonight, ten scenarios for Earth's destruction are imagined. Included: annihilating it with antimatter, being sucked into a black hole, and stopping gravity itself. Enjoy your favorite apocalyptic moments, on the History Channel at 9 PM.

The Colony -
Tonight on the Discovery Channel at10 PM the "survivors" wait is over. The colonists have managed to establish food for themselves, build weapons to fortify their positions, come up with renewable energy and built their own cooking and sanitation systems. Now can the colonists complete their escape truck and fortify their defenses before the marauder's final offensive drive?

Wednesday:

Eastwick -
Seriously, this "Desperate Housewitches" new show looks trashy and outrageous, and has definite potential to become the show we watch religiously but never tell anyone about. Anyway, the show centers around three women who bump coins and are suddenly intertwined in each other's lives. When a mysterious devilish man makes his way into town, he'll either teach the women how to harness their powers, or let their freak flags fly. Or both. The adaptation of John Updike's The Witches of Eastwick begins tonight on ABC at 10 PM.


Destination Truth -
Josh and the team investigate King Tut's curse by locking Josh inside the tomb and trying not to let him fall asleep ... or get killed by the most famous Egyptian, at 10 PM on the Syfy Channel

Thursday:

FlashForward -
FlashForward is ABC's slightly less trashy attempt at adapting a famous novel. Based on the classic book by Robert J. Sawyer, the television series changes more than a little of the original storyline about people seeing the future. On the small screen, it has become a star-studded ensemble, including a mysterious man named Simon (played by Dominic Monaghan). People around the world glimpse two minutes and 17 seconds of their future, six months ahead of time, causing mass casualties and terrible panic. Our first protagonists, Mark and Demetri, are thrown into a car crash following the worldwide blackout. Back at FBI headquarters, they try to figure out how to begin to make sense of the reason behind the blackouts, on ABC at 8 PM

Take a look at the first 17 minutes here if you dare. Bonus points if you can spot the Famous Jett Jackson and Seth MacFarlane in this promo.


Vampire Diaries -
This week in this "still not True Blood" show, Elena tries not to listen to her friend's warning about Stefan's weird vibes as he begins to ... try to fit in at high school like a regular teen. Instead, Elena invites Stefan to dinner with her and Bonnie, to try to get the two on better terms, but the romance is interrupted by Damon and easily impressionable Caroline. It's vampires and teen drama and boring sad men who wear terrible man-rings only on the CW at 8 PM.


Supernatural -
Sam's ready to hang it all up, give up on chasing demons and angels, but then he meets a mysterious girl who threatens to change his mind. Dean, meanwhile, continues his hunt for the Archangel Raphael so he can get to God. Are the bros split for good? It's the end of days again at 9 PM on the CW.


Fringe -
The team heads to Pennsylvania (Does this mean Olivia's back on her feet? Or are they teaming with the new lady agent instead?) The freak of the week seems to involve the subterranean disappearance of a construction worker. Also, more Walter craziness when he tries to shift some frogs to another reality. New Fringe at 9 PM on Fox.

Friday:

Dollhouse -
Now that we've visited the future of Joss Whedon's mind-warping universe (in an unaired season finale), we're back to the present, and the Dollhouse is open for business again. Will Echo be someone sexy tonight? More importantly, how's Whiskey going to deal with her unpleasant discoveries about her true nature?


Smallville -
In the season premiere tonight on CW at 8 PM, Clark has finally taken on the role of protector of Metropolis, donning a black and gray suit to stick to the shadows and become known only as The Blur, forgoing his humanity for the time being. As the hero hunts for the woman he loves, Chloe seeks to reunite the Justice League, a move that may ultimately lead to a dangerous chasm between the two friends.


Ghost Whisperer -
Jennifer Love Hewitt is back to see dead people at 8 PM on CBS. And possibly to pass that gift down to her son. The season premiere, directed by Hewitt, jumps ahead five years in the future to show us just how special her son truly is.

Movies:

Superman Returns, and everything has gone to hell, in the director's cut three-hour-long film, on FX at 8 PM.

Saturday:

Movies:

It's Children of the Corn day over at Syfy starting with Children of the Corn 4 at 11 AM, followed by the 5th film, the 6th film, then Revelations and finally the Syfy retelling of the original, one after the other.

Sunday:

Movies:
Ready yourself for the new Judge Dredd, by rehashing the original, on Syfy at 10 AM.

Librarians get a whole lot sexier when ER doc Noah Wyle does his best Indiana Jones imitation in The Librarian: The: Quest for the Spear it's like Indiana Jones, but with more magic and reading. Check out the Emmy nominated series on TBS at 8 PM.

Before we made them blue and took over their worlds, we were the victims of aliens. Remember the days when we were in the right, with Independence Day on TNT at 8 PM.