• By Charlie Jane Anders
    Sep 24, 2009 6:00 PM 2,958
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    The Firestarter Clown That Will Haunt Your Nightmares!

    If you could set things on fire just by using your mind, what would you do? If you're Dennis Quaid, the answer is: Become a circus clown and terrorize families with your insane giggling. Behold the insanity of Wilder Napalm.

    Wilder Napalm is a hard movie to track down on DVD, so here's the one bit on Youtube that we could find. Quaid and Arliss Howard are brothers, who both discover they're pyrokinetics as small children — so Howard gets a real job, and Quaid becomes a clown living in a trailer. Just because.

    Here's the movie's trailer. Yes, Quaid really does say, "Once you've had a clown, you never go back":



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