Long before U2's Bono and The Edge even thought about writing emo ballads for Peter Parker to sing, Queen's Brian May put out a Spider-Man theme song under the name "MC Spy-D." It may be the worst theme song ever.

I love how 1995's "M.C. Spy-D" theme tune (which I own on CD, because I am a total loser, and because it only cost 50 cents) mashes up Queen's "We Will Rock You" with a very ill-advised hip hop vibe. And then at some point, it feels as though May is trying to do his own version of Prince's "Batdance," by changing tempos and grooves several times for no reason. It's a relief when it finally gets to a May-esque guitar solo, which is the only thing we really love him for anyway.

I guess May recorded this masterpiece as the theme tune for a BBC radio series about Spidey's adventures, but it was also released as CD single on its own merits.

Sample lyrics:

There's a new street fighter on your window sill
The weapon is peace, the word is... chill.

...

Our hero is lithe, and as thin as a rake
He's as sharp as a scythe with the muscles of a snake
He can run, he can crawl, he can grapple in the air
Watch him wrap it all up without turning a hair
The amazing Spiderman!

...

Now the city's sleeping
Spy-D do his creeping
Creeping, he is creeping
We'll be weeping, weeping, weeping, woo!
To the wall he's clinging
A spider's web he's spinning
A better life he's bringing
For all the stranded pretty, pretty women!